Dr. Wendy Dearborne Choice Expert & Coach

...its my life my choice

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Suspended Animation

Posted on April 17, 2014 at 1:40 AM Comments comments (0)

According to Dictionary.com, suspended animation means; a state of temporary cessation of the vital functions. Sometimes in life, when you make choices that are not totally in alignment with what you are wanting, the result feels like you have flat lined. Leaving you existing in a space of suspended animation, where the thing that you expected to happen, doesn’t happen. Yet, frozen in place you keep waiting, wishing, hoping and praying that it will happen, all the while conducting a monolog filled with self recriminations centered on if I woulda, shoulda, coulda. Knowing at your core or at both conscious and subconscious levels it’s not going to happen, because it never was and it never will. And all the wishing in the world isn’t going to make is so.

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The amazing thing about the spiritual and human experience is that whatever choice you make is right. It’s the right choice even if it appears to be wrong. It’s the right choice even if you don’t experience what you expected to experience. You see, all choices once made automatically calibrate or recalibrate to support you in attaining your true heart’s desire. What does that mean? Look at it this way; if you want to reach the mountain and you take the wrong turn, your global navigation system will course correct for you, giving you options for getting you back on track.

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In life, if you make what you consider to be the wrong choice, there are two things that will happen.

  1. Your Universal GPS, your spiritual navigation system will automatically course correct according to your subconscious desire or your true belief, giving you options for getting you back on track. You still have to make the choice.
  2. Based on what you experienced allowing you to transmute your current experience. You will learn something valuable about yourself as you transmute. As you move through your situation and come out on the other end you will experience transmutation. You will have learnt something valuable about yourself. In addition to being placed in correct alignment with what you are wanting in life.


So, if you feel that you have made the wrong choice and are currently kicking the heck out of yourself because you invested money, but more importantly your precious time, take heart. There are no wrong choices, just opportunities for personal growth, a space for greater self understanding and clarity around what you are wanting. How bad is that?


As an FYI whatever you’ve come through has the potential to make you stronger and wiser should you choose to see it that way.

Stop Trying To Fix It

Posted on March 19, 2014 at 3:00 AM Comments comments (0)

One of the most oppressive things that you can do to yourself is own someone else’s crap! And this is what you may find yourself doing on a regular basis; by trying to fix other people’s crappy life situations. And as a result you wind up in part ownership of the negativity that is going on in their lives.   For a variety of reasons you may do this, but the main one is that we all think, based on our past experiences, wisdom, knowledge, skill etc that we can fix it.  That is fix whatever has gone wrong with the “fixee’s”  life.


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The irony here is that I can’t, you can’t, we can’t.  You cannot fix a single thing pertaining to someone else. They have to “fix it” for themselves. Good God, most of us are challenged with straightening our own lives out.  So how in the heck did you arrive at the conclusion that you could “fix” someone else’s life?  Don’t get it twisted, that just because someone, a.k.a “fixee” has accepted advice or something more tangible like money, that you have fixed them.  No you didn’t!  You presented them with an option or options to choose from.  That’s all you did. They have to select and act on anything that you share with them.


People have the need to be heard.  If you are in possession of empathetic listening skills, people will beat a path to your door way, cell phone, iPod, email, facebook page, twitter, hangout etc to get to you.  And get to you they will!  If you find yourself snowed under with other people’s problems and you’re forever sighing deeply wondering, “How did I get here?  I don’t want to hear this crap…again!”  The answer is simple: You have chosen to be all up in someone else’s Kool-Aid.  You and I both know that while the good is going, it’s great.  As far as the “fixee” is concerned you are the best thing since Starbucks’s mocha caramel latte. But let any piece of advice you gave so lovingly, not bear the desired fruit that the “fixee” wanted and your name is now crud.  And of course, it now becomes all your fault, why their life is in the crapper.

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As a choice expert, I know that it doesn’t have to be that way.  Why?  Because everyone has the answers to the questions and solutions to their problems within.  Sounds a bit like woo woo to you? It’s not.  It happens to be a scientific fact.  It’s all in our ability to communicate during conversation by using dialog that always is focused on the future never looking at the past.  The fix is within the “fixee” identifying what they want.  So the next time you find yourself trying to fix someone’s problems, find out what they are really wanting.  By doing this you won’t have to do a thing other than just be there to mirror back what they are saying to you and support them while they fix their own life.

Stand Your Ground You Know Who You Are

Posted on March 14, 2014 at 11:30 PM Comments comments (0)

Today I was browsing the isles of my favorite clothing stores.  In fact, today is my designated, thank you for being you Wendy and all that you do for you day.  And for that I’m giving back to myself day.  What this translates to is I’m going to shop till I drop for whatever I want.   So, I’m browsing the isles looking at some, umm, how do I say this?  Really uuuugly stuff and I can’t but help over hear the conversation between the extremely peppy sales assistant and a new customer to the store.

The assistant is seriously digging though the shirt isle.  Ladies you know the one I mean, the side wall that runs the length of the store?  Yeah!  That one!  Where the merchandize is displayed at three levels.  And woe is you, if you are attracted to a particular item that isn’t eye or hip level.  Then an assistant has to retrieve the garment using a pole with a hook attached on the end.

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Customer:  I need a shirt to go under this jacket (she was purchasing the jacket)
Assistant:  What color are you thinking about, blue and this peach is in season.
Customer:  Umm?  I think I would like white.
Assistant:  Where do you work?  Oh for the judicial system.  If this is for business, fashion for business is now more casual and the blue or peach will look good under the jacket.
Customer: I was really thinking something basic so that I could mix and match other outfits that I have.
Assistant: That works to be able to mix and match.  But, peach and blue are the season colors and I know that you want to be in the height of fashion.  And peach is your color.

Okay, I just have to interject here.  As a former color specialist, peach in any shade, tone or hue was not and never will be this woman’s color.  She would look hideous in that color.

Customer: Oh, do you really think so?  I never thought that I looked very good in peach.  I was really thinking of something more basic.  Something in white.
Assistant:  You look lovely in peach.

So the conversation goes on like that for a while and I kinda zone out.  And I laser back in when I hear the assistant say;

Assistant:  You don’t want sleeveless at your age because of your arms, you should go for the three quarter length or short sleeve.


I didn’t actually hear the customer’s response as I went into one.  What the heck is wrong with this picture?  I could have listed all the things that the sales assistant did wrong.  In fact, I was cataloging her failures in my head thinking to myself, “wow, she didn’t even listen to what that woman wanted.”  And then low and behold, I see the customer purchasing said PEACH short sleeve shirt at the register, still talking about basic white.

As a choice expert, I kicked into high gear.  My focus shifted from the sales assistant, who had to be commended, because she had done her job and done it well, to the customer.  For whatever reason…and in truth, the reasons don’t matter, what does matter is that the customer did not ensure that her needs where sufficiently met.  And it’s the customer’s responsibility to get what she needs.

What I witnessed, and hear me clearly, this is only from my perception, is that the customer knows all too well that she looks hideous in peach, yet still she purchased the peach short sleeve shirt, bearing in mind that she wanted sleeveless.  She also knew that she wanted to be able to use this new garment with other clothing that is currently in her closet, and in listening to her conversation, peach wasn’t going to do it for her.  Her career field dictated a dress code professional or otherwise and from what I could gather, peach didn’t factor in it…for her.

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The question she may be asking herself and others may ask is why did you/I buy a shirt in a color and style you/I didn’t want?  That is a fair question toask.  However, it’s not an empowering question, because if focuses on all her shortcomings and distressing history.  It’s an extrinsic question that delves into the past for solutions to the future.  No solution is ever found in the past.  The past just gives you information on what doesn’t work for you.

A better question to ask the customer and yourself would be “What are you wanting your shopping experience to be like? Or what are you wanting to experience when you shop for clothing?”   This is an intrinsic based question that is guaranteed, if pursued, to empower you to get your needs met.  It will allow you to stand your ground, because when you answer this question you will know with clarity who you are and what you want.  When you have full cognition of your wants and needs you are going to make choices in the best interest of self, without feeling the need to sacrifice yourself on the altar of what someone else wants for you.


The Appointed Time Is N.O.W

Posted on February 17, 2014 at 9:45 PM Comments comments (0)

You’ve heard that old adage strike while the iron is hot.  Because when it cools you will be unable to form it into what you want.  You will have to conform to it.  The time is N.O.W!  This is what life is all about, being in and realizing your N.O.W.  We go through life not recognizing the power of N.O.W!  The most powerful thing in your life at any given time is YOU and being in the present and acting N.O.W!  

 

As a choice expert, I love acronyms I feel that word association can make for a powerful memory recall.   N.O.W is an acronym I use to illustrate to clients that no matter what’s gone on or going on in their lives, there is always something positive to be learned from any experience.  Yesterday’s adversities create today’s opportunities.  In your life you will find there are people, places and things that no longer work for you, or fit into your life-concept or the relationship is simply too painful to be in and around.  What you are doing is sending yourself a signal telling self that you need to do something different. That something different is about taking action.

 

When you cut everything away, you’ll find that the underpinning of your life is all about the actions and reactions that you have taken, which are really choices.  Your life is a never ending series of actions and reactions.  One begets the other.  Our lives are built on cause and effect.  Both cause and effect are actions that are polarized by each other.  I was recently asked, what matters the most the action or reaction or the cause and effect. 

That’s a little like asking “now, which came first the chicken or the egg?  My answer is simple, neither matter.  Cause and effect, action and reaction are polarized by each other.  Actually, it’s impossible to have one without the other.  Therefore, what is truly important, what matters the most is the awareness of your choices and what it represents in the N.O.W.

 

Every day you awaken, you start the day anew.   It’s not just the day that is new, but you are NEW too.  You see, it doesn’t matter what has gone before or what is yet to come.  From the moment you awaken, the new you has started the new day, which aligns you with your N.O.W.

 

This fact has huge relevance in our lives.  It places us firmly in the moment or in the N.O.W.  Being in your N.O.W is choosing to see the New Opportunities Waiting for you…and acting on them.

 

What new opportunities are waiting for you?

The Intrinsic Value of Excuses Part II

Posted on January 27, 2014 at 3:15 AM Comments comments (0)

There is a bigger picture to subterfuge found in making an excuse for not following through. It’s a form of self sabotage and it will eclipse your ability to succeed in life.  Excuses have ruined many an opportunity in people lives.  Excuses have torn apart, relationships, health, finances and stunted personal growth and the list goes on.

As a choice expert, I know that an excuse has more than extrinsic value in our lives.  It’s more than just meaningless words designed to placate a person into believing ones BS.  It’s all about the ulterior motive of not being blamed for choosing not to follow through. And the ulterior motive is where the value of an excuse comes into play.


Before I touch on the priceless intrinsic value that excuses bring to our lives, I want you to understand that there is a huge difference in telling someone something factual for what has happened and making an excuse for what you’ve done. That difference boils down to ownership of your choices, taking responsibility for your being and being accountable for your actions.

 

Let me elaborate, there’s a difference between saying I’m running late, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bang! End of story.    Verses creating an epic storyline about why you’re late and all the imaginary things that are being blamed for your state of being; which is…late.  Whichever way you slice or dice it, no matter what has happened, you’re late.  You’ll find life so much easier when you just own your choices.


The need for an excuse actually has precious intrinsic value in our lives. It shows pertinent issues that may be bubbling beneath the surface that we may need to look at.  Issues that need to be addressed ensuring that we don’t self sabotage our lives. And help to minimize the potential to ruin relationships and opportunities, which can be the difference between living a happy and fulfilling life and or not. In short, an excuse’s intrinsic value supports us in being nothing less than our true and authentic selves.


 

When you make an excuse, you need to look at the following areas in your lives, they will tell you what it is that you are really wanting for you.

1.  The need for approval.

2.  The desire to assuage people so you remain in good standing, just in case.

3.  Where you really want to be.

4.  What you want to spend your time and energy on.

5.  Your level of commitment.

6.  What changes need to be made?

7.  Where you can take control of your life.

8.  Look at living your authentic life.

9.  Choosing to express your truth.

So, what does your go to excuse tell you about you what you are wanting in your life.  Remember, it’s your life it’s your choice.

Listen to the archived episode of Enough! No More Excuses on My Life My Choice Radio on Blog Talk Radio.  Click here

Enough! No More Excuses Part I

Posted on January 25, 2014 at 11:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Enough! No More Excuses. An excuse is a permit issued by self (YOU) - giving permission to self (YOU), to choose a pathway of non-accountability, non-ownership and irresponsibility. In short, an excuse is a license not to make change where changes need to be made.

Is there such a thing as an excuse?  The answer to that is NO there isn’t.  When you make an excuse, you have declared a choice, a conscious choice at that. As a choice expert, I feel that in order to live the best life that you can, at your very core, you must believe in your authentic self.

I can tell and so can you people who are not living from their true authenticity.  People who feel that they don’t come up to par, whatever par is, but think that they should, by the excuses they make for the life and the lives that they have chosen to live.


You know what I’m speaking of.  When said person opens their mouth and you internally or literally roll your eyes to look out of the back of your skull.  Or you sigh and think, “oh crap here we go again. Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!”  Or you mentally disappear through most of the conversation, only to be brought back with a rude jolt by something that trigger snappish behavior in you.  You follow through by snapping at them, none to gently, by telling them what it is you think that they should be doing.

Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!  This is what happens when people make excuses, we see them for what they are. And they see themselves for who they are too.  And that is simply someone who has failed to do something that they said they would do all wrap up in a tidy over-the-top bow.

An excuse is an explanation that is multilayered by design.  Each element of an excuse given tries to create a sound and viable reason why you didn’t do what you said you’d do and it is steep in subterfuge. Ironically, it’s the subterfuge that makes all excuses as transparent as looking through a squeaky clean glass window.  This is why people see through you and why you see through them.  It is also the reason we see through ourselves.

 

Let me just say this for the record. Don’t try to BS yourself into believing that a reason and an excuse are the same thing.  Clearly, they are no. A reason is factual.  It is an action, an event or cause.  Mount Fuji erupted and I was unable to fly out of Japan.  No subterfuge here.  An excuse is fictitious. It’s a mental/emotional creation driven by the imagination is design to absolve and free one from blame, for not doing something we said we would.  Like not showing up on time for an engagement because time got away from us! Have you used that one yourself or has someone used that one on you?


Bottom line is this; an excuse is really someone looking for somebody else to validate them, let them off the hook for poor behavior for not doing whatever they said they would.

The nature of an excuse brings both extrinsic and intrinsic value to our lives.  In part II of this blog we’ll explore that.  However in the meantime I have another question, “what’s your go to excuse?”  Come now, you know the one I mean, it’s that ace you always use to try and BS yourself and other people, for not following through on something you committed to doing.

Listen to the archived radio episode of Enough! No More Excuses click here

Just Because It Has A Chemical Name Doesn't Make It Toxic

Posted on January 20, 2014 at 1:35 AM Comments comments (0)

I read a blog today based on a post from a science teacher called Mr. James Kennedy.  He wants to dispel the myth that chemicals in food are bad for you by proving that chemicals are everywhere.  He did say that we cannot recreate many things that occur in nature in a laboratory setting.  I did wonder why he didn’t explain this, but, I guess his post wasn’t about that.

Well, like all things, people are within their rights to make a choice to interpret this information any which way they choose.  What is life all about if not choices?  Some of the comments that I read I quickly realized that many people have decided to take Mr. Kennedy’s information and use it to justify that there is no difference between the creation of processed foods and naturally occurring foods.

As I looked at the picture of the egg, banana and blueberry with the chemicals listed below, I thought ummmmm!  I wonder...if they took all the chemicals listed, naturally occurring or created in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw materials, because after all everything starts out from natural raw material.  I wonder if they could and would create a banana, egg or blueberry as shown in the pictures above and below?  The answer to that question is a resounding NO!

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So, can food scientists create something that looks like, smells and even tastes like a blueberry, egg or banana?  Why of course they can.  If you didn't know most blueberry muffins on sale are not made with real blueberries.  The blue berries are made from chemicals that are naturally occurring to make an "artificial tasting" blueberry.   To suggest that an artificial blueberry, made in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw ingredients, based upon foods scientists ability to isolate various chemical components found in a naturally grown blueberry, is the same as a blueberry picked from the shrub, is not only ridiculous,  but ignorant.

When people hear the word chemicals, they automatically think toxins.  Which anything taken in large quantities can and will become toxic, including water.  Chemicals are a way that scientist accurately identify a substance.  As a Master Aromatherapist, when I am purchasing an essential oil I don’t merely ask for lavender.  I ask for Lavandula angustifolia; a.k.a English lavender.  It doesn’t matter if the supplier speaks English or not, he/she will understand what I want to purchase if I use the botanical or Latin name.   Anywhere in the world E306 Tocoperol would be recognized as vitamin E.

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Don't confuse chemical identification of a substance and artificial construction of food as one in the same.  i.e. a laboratory made blueberry vs. natures vine ripe blueberry may look somewhat, feel somewhat, smell and even taste the same, but I guarantee they are not the same.  Many things that have been artificially recreated in a food laboratory have been made from chemicals that where isolated from analyzing the real McCoy.

When you read the label on processed food all it’s telling you is what has been used to make the product in a lab by food scientists.  The key word here is on the words “processed food.”

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So why can’t scientist make a perfect replica of any animate thing in a laboratory setting?  While they have come pretty darn close, the fact remains that unlike a car, or house, chair or table all of these can be taken part and put back together and work just like new so it is with inanimate objects.  However, if you take apart an inanimate object such as human, banana, egg or blueberry you will not be able to put any of the above back together and have them function just like new…or not yet at any rate.  Checkout Frankenstein.

Picture printed with the permission of Mr. James Kennedy Many thanks for sharing your views!

What Are Your Intention Toward You?

Posted on January 7, 2014 at 7:45 PM Comments comments (0)

Where are you in relation to your existence?  That’s a deep question, which requires deep penetrative thought.   So while you’re thinking about this, I’ll ask you another question.  What is the one word that sums up what you are wanting for 2014?  And if YOU haven’t given it any thought, my personal and professional opinion, as a choice expert, is that YOU should.  It’s not often that I tell people what they should do.  After all, everyone knows intrinsically what it is that they are wanting. 

Yet, I stand behind my statement.  If YOU haven’t given what you are wanting for 2014 any thought, my personal and professional opinion, as a choice expert, is that YOU should.  Why?   Simply put, your life is moving in a forward direction.  This is whether you choose to actively participate with conscious awareness of your choices or not.  When your life stops moving, it will mean that you cease to exist in this dimension, life or reality.  So, until then know that there is always momentum and it is forward in direction.

Let’s explore this a little more.  If you have ever woken up after a night of imbibing too much fermented grains or grapes and said, “OMG! I feel like crap!  Or I don’t know how I got to bed and I don’t remember much of what happened last night.”  Or “I ate myself into a stupor or I was working so hard I passed out...literally!”  All the above statements tell me, that you have moved forward in your life in an uncontrolled unconscious way.


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Conversely, if you say to yourself, “I’m going to eat until I’m in a coma or drink until I black out or work until I drop…literally” then that’s a different ball of wax all together.  I readily accept that all the scenarios mentioned above have the same outcome.  However, your clarity of intention is different.  You are choosing with conscious awareness the end result that you want to happen.  Your intentions are clear. You are making choices that is putting you in the driver’s seat of your existence.

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My personal experience and that of my clientele has told me that life has a way of being much more satisfying when you are consciously aware of the choices that you are making and the intention you have for the outcome is all yours.    What do I mean by this?

Simply put, don’t allow life to live vicariously through you.  Drag you from pillar to post with unintentional intention.   Live your life based upon the conscious awareness of your choices.  Live your life with conscious intention.  The only thing, and I do mean, the only thing, that you have control over, at any given time in this life is your ability to choose to think/choose for self.


So, back to my original questions, “what are you wanting for 2014?  And where are you in relation to your existence?”

Put The Wheels Back On Your New Year's Resolution

Posted on December 26, 2013 at 4:40 PM Comments comments (0)

As December 31 rolls around heralding the coming of the New Year, we are filled with a sense of excitement, of expectancy and a feeling of hopefulness that the coming year will be so much better than the last.   We are looking for the new and improved version of our lives.  With the fading notes of Auld Lang Syne ringing in our ears many of us wait like "Cinderella" for the last stroke of the clock to usher in the New Year for us to seal a deal with self, making a resolution to change things in our lives that will make everything better.  Somehow shiny and new.

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It’s January 3,a mere 48 hours into the New Year and somehow, someway the wheels have fallen off of your resolution.  And as a result your desire to make your all life shiny and new has been unceremoniously abandoned. It may be comforting for you to note, that you are not alone in this and that you are in good company. According to Dr. Richard Wiseman, a researcher in the Public Understanding of Psychology, 50% of all Americans set New Year’s resolutions.  He also goes on to say that 139 million people, that is a whopping 88%, fail to follow through on their commitment within days of January 1.

There are a number of documented scientific theories, that sight activity in the brains prefrontal cortex, which explains away the human beings inability to follow through on a New Year’s resolution.  Ironically, much of the research sounded a lot like lame excuses to me, with the exception of the research data that suggested that humans are unable to follow through to completion, ideas which are abstract.

As a choice expert and life coach educator, I know that scientific documentation isn’t necessarily needed to support the fact that people are unable to follow through on abstract ideas.  You can see this in your own life. If you are one of the 139 million people who get to January 3, only to find that the wheels have fallen off your resolution, you have experienced the results of creating an abstract goal.

Abstract goals/ideas are doom for failure.  Because without mentally mapping out a plan of action, there is nothing to commit to and there is nothing to follow through on.  So nothing is going to happen, other than the abandonment of the goal.

To achieve a successful outcome for any goals, it’s important to ensure that they are S.M.A.R.T.J’s.  The two examples below illustrate what I mean.

Here is an example of a smart goal:  I want to lose 20lbs by September of next year, by incorporating better eating habits and walking for exercise.  This is a S.M.A.R.T.J because it gives you something definite to work with and build upon.

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Here is an example of a not so smart goal: I want to lose 20lbs.  There is nothing concrete about this goal, it’s too abstract, it’s too vague there is nothing concrete to build on.

S.M.A.R.T.J is an acronym that means

  • S = Specific                       Concrete tangible steps.
  • M= Measurable                  How will you know if you completed your goal.
  • A = Achievable                   Something you are capable of doing.
  • R = Realistic                      Something you can do given everything else in your life.
  • T = Time = limited              A specific time to achieve your goal.
  • J = Journal                        Create a journal mapping your success.

 By asking yourself if your goal meets the 6 criteria outlined above and ensuring that it does, you will be on the fast track to seeing your New Year’s resolution to completion.

                                              Happy New Year to you and yours!

Dieting vs What Are You Eating Part 3

Posted on September 16, 2013 at 7:35 PM Comments comments (0)

Why not use nature’s finest medicine, FOOD, in its natural state to achieve your desire goal of weight loss?  Why not eradicate or find internal balance for your stresses and emotional responses to life; the emotional responses that trigger your psychological and physiological need to eat searching for solace.  Instead of looking externally for yet another pill, shake, supplement, surgery, fad diet or someone’s “processed” dietary eating system to save you and do the work for you, why not do this permanently for yourself?  By you getting into the driver’s seat of your life and selecting nutritious foods that give you what you want in mind and body.

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Just so we are on the same page, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison.”  Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type, by Dr. Peter J D’Adamo, only scratched the surface of that old adage above.  His work illustrated that we are not all designed to eat one type of diet.  And I concur and applaud that!  As a choice expert, I am in no way touting that everyone should adhere to a vegan, plant based or raw diet.  What I am suggesting as an option is for you to find out what foods make you feel healthy.  What foods make you act healthy and what foods allow you to show up in mind, body and spirit as healthy. 

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Let me bounce this off of you. In regard to achieving and maintaining your ideal weight, it’s crucial to your success to know that by NOT understanding the current relationship that YOU have with food, is nothing more that self sabotage.   It’s about as helpful as the bathroom scales or your ill fitting clothes, telling you that you are fatReally!?  Like you need the scales or your tight fitting clothes to inform you of that.  By the time it gets to that point, it’s just a validation of what you already knew about you and your weight.

Let’s go back to basics and do this by figuring out the relationship that you want with food?  Not the current relationship that you have, which has evolved from what you have been taught or told you must eat and or is good for you.

If your weight has spiraled up and down or if you are simply looking for better health, I have a question that I would like you to ask yourself.  “What am I wanting “within” the relationship that I have with food?”  And please, don’t delude yourself into believing that it’s just you in this equation.   There are two of you in your food or dietary relationship; you and food.  And, work with me on this, as bizarre as this may sound, food wants something from you too.  By nature of its designed it has been created to support your wanting.  When you’ve answer your question with total honesty you can move forward from there by asking yourself  “What does it feel like, or look like or even taste like to develop the relationship that I am wanting with food?”

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Answering these questions will help give you clarity, not only around what you want to happen to you with the food that you “choose” to eat, but it will enable you to begin to create a workable road-map to achieve your desire goals.  You will give yourself the all powerful “HOW” can I make this happen.  And being in the know how is where it’s at. 

I know that I mentioned this before and I’m going to say it again.  FAT is not your enemy. And FYI, we don’t burn our body fat a.k.a adipose tissue, we use it.   We need it and use it in part as a source of energy, protection, cushioning, storage, for warmth…and whatever else science has yet to tell us.


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