|Posted on June 27, 2014 at 4:00 PM||comments (0)|
Today, I had the luxury of taking a leisurely stroll around Costco's. And yes, it was teaming with throngs of people who I personally feel, need to have their shopping cart licenses revoked. Usually, I feel like Bond...Jane Bond - 006 when I go into Costco's. I'm totally focused on my mission and execute my shopping with military style precision.
However, today as I strolled aimlessly up and down the isles, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between three women, who looked like sisters, who ranged in age from 67ish to 75ish. One sister, who appeared to be the youngest, was animatedly talking about her health issues, which, by the sounds of it, will not have a favorable outcome.
She was, for want of a better way to phrase this, pissed, because her physician had the audacity to suggest that she "JUICE" using fresh fruits and vegetables as a way to assist in helping her to correct or maintain her current health issues. She was "not going to spend that kind of money on a juicer and then make damned juice when a pill can do the job."
While I am not into extracting juices from fruits and vegetables, I am all about WHOLEFOOD JUICING. What is whole food juicing? It's pulverizing fruits, vegetables, seeds, grains and nuts into a liquid form. In short it's creating a smoothie and in my case a GREEN smoothie. So what's the difference between a smoothie and a juice? The difference between juice extraction and wholefood juicing comes down to fiber. Juice extraction removes the naturally occurring liquid in fruits or veggies leaving the fiber behind to be toss away. Wholefood juicing pulverizes everything, including the fiber, into a liquid that is easy for the digestive system to assimilate. The fiber which is lost in juicing, carries with it essential phytonutrients, which play a huge role in the healing process and maintaining an optimum immune system.
As we all moved on in different directions, I fell into a sort of automatic memory recall. I couldn't help but to blink a couple of times to assure myself that I heard, what, I thought I had heard. As I strolled away, she was still talking very indignantly about the fact that a physician would suggest something like juicing when he's job is to be writing her prescriptions.
Wow! When I realized I had heard what I thought I had heard, two things crossed my mind
- Kudos to her doctor for suggesting phytonutrients as an alternative to pharmaceuticals and a way of empowering her to take an active role in her health care recovery.
- In the long run what is going to cost her more, pharmaceuticals or fruits and veggies?
As I reflect on the answer to the latter question, I feel that in the long run the ultimate price that she will pay, will be in her quality of life...and that is priceless!
|Posted on June 22, 2014 at 6:25 PM||comments (0)|
This week I attended an interesting function that was a culmination of an 8 week coaching program in which several women showcased their unique public speaking delivery styles. Each graduate spoke about historic vignettes that have shaped who they have become and will continue to influence who they evolve into.
As I sat in the audience listening, and in some cases empathizing as each woman delivered her powerful story, speaking eloquently, emotionally and passionately about being broken, lost, afraid, sad and alone, I couldn't help but ask myself, "what was the common denominator in their individual, yet joint histories ?"
My mental check list when a little something like this;
- They were all females
- They were all graduates of a coaching program that supported you in becoming a public speaker
- They all had suffered physical and emotional trauma's
- They all made it through the events of the passed
- They all have done the work (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) necessary to create the enriching lives that they now live
- They are all stronger for their experiences
- They all want to give back to the world in their own unique way
So, what was the common denominator for both their past and their present?
I could see that the common thread that HAD ran though each of them as they spoke about their histories. And, ironically, it was the same common thread that ran through their present experience. Then it hit me. Worth! Self-worth!
Your self worth is an inner faculty that supports you in your unique choice making process; choices that you make for and about how your life will be created. However, it is your belief in your choice that will get you to your appointed or desired destination. Or put another way, it's your belief in your choice/worth/self that allows the Universal energy to be moved into form...or be made manifest.
You see, each graduate showed up as strong, eloquent, emotional and passionate and confident. Authentically, unapologetically, humorously and with no-holds-barred they spoke about themselves and their experiences. Some of those experiences to this day remain harrowing, yet, they chose to express their experiences in a positive light. Instead of passing negative judgement on self they used each experience to increase their own belief in their worth. Their belief in SELF. And that for me is what I call, flipping the script or fts. What amazing transformation I witnessed. In fact, I saw the unshakable I AM ESSENCE within each graduate on that stage and for me that took Thursday night to a spiritually defining moment.
So, I'll leave you with this thought and question: Far to often we judge our self using external gauges, or yardsticks as I like to call them, to determine our worth. Yardstick that we have chosen that are unique to someone else journey...NOT YOURS. And as a result, far to often we miss our mark and the worth that we place in self suffers.
My question is this, who said that the gauges or yardsticks that you are currently using to determine your self worth in life is accurate?
|Posted on June 6, 2014 at 4:10 PM||comments (0)|
Did you know that eating foods that takes a lot of energy to digest can, not only make you feel sluggish, but it can impact your ability to recall events...both short and long term. It can make you forget common words that you use every day and is a factor in making wrong choices in your life. This doesn't only apply to carbs, but protein from the land and sea as well. And yes, it also includes fruits and veggies too! In fact, it doesn’t matter whether, fried, boiled, broiled, grilled, oil, oil free, steamed and raw; the energy it takes to digest your food impacts your ability to function in every way.
Are some foods better to eat than others? The answer to that question boils down to how well you digest the foods that you are choosing to eat. You’ll know the answer to this by what you feel like. Typically after you eat do you feel a little sleepy or sluggish, even a little cranky? Does your nose run or do you have a little coughing or sneezing jag? Or has everything you said you were going to do before eating, evaporated into the ethos, because now, all you have enough energy to do is sit and watch TV or read? All those are good signs that what you’re eating isn’t providing you with the energy you need. The ol' adage applies here "one man's meat is another man's poison!"
So, me telling you what is best for you doesn’t help you in anyway. What can and will help you is this.
- Over the next two – three weeks, check in with yourself and observe how you feel after eating. Be honest. Honesty is the key. Look to see if you feel sleepy, crappy, cranky, snappish, foggy, depleted, unfocused. Or energized, happy, sharp, focused, motivated, creative and insightful.
- Over the next two - three weeks check in with yourself to see if what you are eating leaves you feeling satisfied or unsatisfied, bloated, non specific abdominal discomfort or not. Congestion in sinuses, eyes and or lungs or not.
If you have experienced some of what is listed above then you may want to look at tweaking your diet. You know what you are dealing with because of your observations and now you can do your own due diligence.
How I hear you say? By making the necessary changes.
- Instead of eating pizza for lunch, you may digest it better at night. Try it and see. Instead of having a meat eaters delight select one meat and make the rest up with veggies. Instead of eating your heaviest meal at lunch time, you may want something lighter so you can get through your day. Instead of having chicken on your salad, have tofu…LOL! Did I just loose most of my readers? LOL! If you usually go for a fully loaded baked potato, just go for half the load. Eliminate some of the toppings and see how you feel.
Do you need something sweet to round your meal out? If the answer to that is yes,
- you may want a little more meat and or vegetable protein.
For far too long we have been lead around by the nose being dictated to as to what we must eat to be healthy. And we are not getting any healthier if statistics are to be believed. I say you know you best, because I personally and professionally, believe that “one man’s meat is another man’s poison!” Not everybody is physiologically and psychologically designed to be a vegetarian, vegan, pescetarian or flexitarians or a raw foodist.
At the end of the day, we all know what makes us feel good or bad. It’s a case of doing your own due “honest” diligence. And finding out what you are wanting from your relationship with food.
|Posted on April 17, 2014 at 1:40 AM||comments (0)|
According to Dictionary.com, suspended animation means; a state of temporary cessation of the vital functions. Sometimes in life, when you make choices that are not totally in alignment with what you are wanting, the result feels like you have flat lined. Leaving you existing in a space of suspended animation, where the thing that you expected to happen, doesn’t happen. Yet, frozen in place you keep waiting, wishing, hoping and praying that it will happen, all the while conducting a monolog filled with self recriminations centered on if I woulda, shoulda, coulda. Knowing at your core or at both conscious and subconscious levels it’s not going to happen, because it never was and it never will. And all the wishing in the world isn’t going to make is so.
The amazing thing about the spiritual and human experience is that whatever choice you make is right. It’s the right choice even if it appears to be wrong. It’s the right choice even if you don’t experience what you expected to experience. You see, all choices once made automatically calibrate or recalibrate to support you in attaining your true heart’s desire. What does that mean? Look at it this way; if you want to reach the mountain and you take the wrong turn, your global navigation system will course correct for you, giving you options for getting you back on track.
In life, if you make what you consider to be the wrong choice, there are two things that will happen.
- Your Universal GPS, your spiritual navigation system will automatically course correct according to your subconscious desire or your true belief, giving you options for getting you back on track. You still have to make the choice.
- Based on what you experienced allowing you to transmute your current experience. You will learn something valuable about yourself as you transmute. As you move through your situation and come out on the other end you will experience transmutation. You will have learnt something valuable about yourself. In addition to being placed in correct alignment with what you are wanting in life.
So, if you feel that you have made the wrong choice and are currently kicking the heck out of yourself because you invested money, but more importantly your precious time, take heart. There are no wrong choices, just opportunities for personal growth, a space for greater self understanding and clarity around what you are wanting. How bad is that?
As an FYI whatever you’ve come through has the potential to make you stronger and wiser should you choose to see it that way.
|Posted on March 19, 2014 at 3:00 AM||comments (0)|
One of the most oppressive things that you can do to yourself is own someone else’s crap! And this is what you may find yourself doing on a regular basis; by trying to fix other people’s crappy life situations. And as a result you wind up in part ownership of the negativity that is going on in their lives. For a variety of reasons you may do this, but the main one is that we all think, based on our past experiences, wisdom, knowledge, skill etc that we can fix it. That is fix whatever has gone wrong with the “fixee’s” life.
The irony here is that I can’t, you can’t, we can’t. You cannot fix a single thing pertaining to someone else. They have to “fix it” for themselves. Good God, most of us are challenged with straightening our own lives out. So how in the heck did you arrive at the conclusion that you could “fix” someone else’s life? Don’t get it twisted, that just because someone, a.k.a “fixee” has accepted advice or something more tangible like money, that you have fixed them. No you didn’t! You presented them with an option or options to choose from. That’s all you did. They have to select and act on anything that you share with them.
People have the need to be heard. If you are in possession of empathetic listening skills, people will beat a path to your door way, cell phone, iPod, email, facebook page, twitter, hangout etc to get to you. And get to you they will! If you find yourself snowed under with other people’s problems and you’re forever sighing deeply wondering, “How did I get here? I don’t want to hear this crap…again!” The answer is simple: You have chosen to be all up in someone else’s Kool-Aid. You and I both know that while the good is going, it’s great. As far as the “fixee” is concerned you are the best thing since Starbucks’s mocha caramel latte. But let any piece of advice you gave so lovingly, not bear the desired fruit that the “fixee” wanted and your name is now crud. And of course, it now becomes all your fault, why their life is in the crapper.
As a choice expert, I know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Why? Because everyone has the answers to the questions and solutions to their problems within. Sounds a bit like woo woo to you? It’s not. It happens to be a scientific fact. It’s all in our ability to communicate during conversation by using dialog that always is focused on the future never looking at the past. The fix is within the “fixee” identifying what they want. So the next time you find yourself trying to fix someone’s problems, find out what they are really wanting. By doing this you won’t have to do a thing other than just be there to mirror back what they are saying to you and support them while they fix their own life.
|Posted on March 14, 2014 at 11:30 PM||comments (0)|
Today I was browsing the isles of my favorite
clothing stores. In fact, today is my designated, thank you for being
you Wendy and all that you do for you day. And for that I’m giving back
to myself day. What this translates to is I’m going to shop till I
drop for whatever I want. So, I’m browsing the isles looking at some,
umm, how do I say this? Really uuuugly stuff and I can’t but
help over hear the conversation between the extremely peppy sales
assistant and a new customer to the store.
The assistant is seriously digging though the shirt isle. Ladies you know the one I mean, the side wall that runs the length of the store? Yeah! That one! Where the merchandize is displayed at three levels. And woe is you, if you are attracted to a particular item that isn’t eye or hip level. Then an assistant has to retrieve the garment using a pole with a hook attached on the end.
Customer: I need a shirt to go under this jacket (she was purchasing the jacket)
Assistant: What color are you thinking about, blue and this peach is in season.
Customer: Umm? I think I would like white.
Assistant: Where do you work? Oh for the judicial system. If this is for business, fashion for business is now more casual and the blue or peach will look good under the jacket.
Customer: I was really thinking something basic so that I could mix and match other outfits that I have.
Assistant: That works to be able to mix and match. But, peach and blue are the season colors and I know that you want to be in the height of fashion. And peach is your color.
Okay, I just have to interject
here. As a former color specialist, peach in any shade, tone or hue was
not and never will be this woman’s color. She would look hideous in
Oh, do you really think so? I never thought that I looked very good in
peach. I was really thinking of something more basic. Something in
Assistant: You look lovely in peach.
So the conversation goes on like that for a while and I kinda zone out. And I laser back in when I hear the assistant say;
Assistant: You don’t want sleeveless at your age because of your arms, you should go for the three quarter length or short sleeve.
I didn’t actually hear the customer’s response as I went into one. What the heck is wrong with this picture? I could have listed all the things that the sales assistant did wrong. In fact, I was cataloging her failures in my head thinking to myself, “wow, she didn’t even listen to what that woman wanted.” And then low and behold, I see the customer purchasing said PEACH short sleeve shirt at the register, still talking about basic white.
As a choice expert, I kicked
into high gear. My focus shifted from the sales assistant, who had to
be commended, because she had done her job and done it well, to the
customer. For whatever reason…and in truth, the reasons don’t matter,
what does matter is that the customer did not ensure that her needs where sufficiently met. And it’s the customer’s responsibility to get what she needs.
What I witnessed, and hear me clearly, this is only from my perception, is that the customer knows all too well that she looks hideous in peach, yet still she purchased the peach short sleeve shirt, bearing in mind that she wanted sleeveless. She also knew that she wanted to be able to use this new garment with other clothing that is currently in her closet, and in listening to her conversation, peach wasn’t going to do it for her. Her career field dictated a dress code professional or otherwise and from what I could gather, peach didn’t factor in it…for her.
question she may be asking herself and others may ask is why did you/I
buy a shirt in a color and style you/I didn’t want? That is a fair
question toask. However, it’s not an empowering question, because if
focuses on all her shortcomings and distressing history. It’s an
extrinsic question that delves into the past for solutions to the
future. No solution is ever found in the past. The past just gives you
information on what doesn’t work for you.
A better question to ask the customer and yourself would be “What are you wanting your shopping experience to be like? Or what are you wanting to experience when you shop for clothing?” This is an intrinsic based question that is guaranteed, if pursued, to empower you to get your needs met. It will allow you to stand your ground, because when you answer this question you will know with clarity who you are and what you want. When you have full cognition of your wants and needs you are going to make choices in the best interest of self, without feeling the need to sacrifice yourself on the altar of what someone else wants for you.
|Posted on February 17, 2014 at 9:45 PM||comments (0)|
You’ve heard that old adage strike while the iron is hot. Because when it cools you will be unable to form it into what you want. You will have to conform to it. The time is N.O.W! This is what life is all about, being in and realizing your N.O.W. We go through life not recognizing the power of N.O.W! The most powerful thing in your life at any given time is YOU and being in the present and acting N.O.W!
As a choice expert, I love acronyms I feel that word association can make for a powerful memory recall. N.O.W is an acronym I use to illustrate to clients that no matter what’s gone on or going on in their lives, there is always something positive to be learned from any experience. Yesterday’s adversities create today’s opportunities. In your life you will find there are people, places and things that no longer work for you, or fit into your life-concept or the relationship is simply too painful to be in and around. What you are doing is sending yourself a signal telling self that you need to do something different. That something different is about taking action.
When you cut everything away, you’ll find that the
underpinning of your life is all about the actions and reactions that you have
taken, which are really choices. Your life is a never ending series of actions
and reactions. One begets the
other. Our lives are built on cause and
effect. Both cause and effect are
actions that are polarized by each other.
I was recently asked, what matters the most the action or reaction or the
cause and effect.
That’s a little like asking “now, which came first the chicken or the egg? My answer is simple, neither matter. Cause and effect, action and reaction are polarized by each other. Actually, it’s impossible to have one without the other. Therefore, what is truly important, what matters the most is the awareness of your choices and what it represents in the N.O.W.
Every day you awaken, you start the day anew. It’s not just the day that is new, but you are NEW too. You see, it doesn’t matter what has gone before or what is yet to come. From the moment you awaken, the new you has started the new day, which aligns you with your N.O.W.
This fact has huge relevance in our lives. It places us firmly in the moment or in the N.O.W. Being in your N.O.W is choosing to see the New Opportunities Waiting for you…and acting on them.
What new opportunities are waiting for you?
|Posted on January 27, 2014 at 3:15 AM||comments (0)|
There is a bigger picture to subterfuge found in making an excuse for not following through. It’s a form of self sabotage and it will eclipse your ability to succeed in life. Excuses have ruined many an opportunity in people lives. Excuses have torn apart, relationships, health, finances and stunted personal growth and the list goes on.
As a choice expert, I know that an excuse has more than extrinsic value in our lives. It’s more than just meaningless words designed to placate a person into believing ones BS. It’s all about the ulterior motive of not being blamed for choosing not to follow through. And the ulterior motive is where the value of an excuse comes into play.
Before I touch on the priceless intrinsic value that excuses bring to our lives, I want you to understand that there is a huge difference in telling someone something factual for what has happened and making an excuse for what you’ve done. That difference boils down to ownership of your choices, taking responsibility for your being and being accountable for your actions.
Let me elaborate, there’s a difference between saying I’m running late, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bang! End of story. Verses creating an epic storyline about why you’re late and all the imaginary things that are being blamed for your state of being; which is…late. Whichever way you slice or dice it, no matter what has happened, you’re late. You’ll find life so much easier when you just own your choices.
The need for an excuse actually has precious intrinsic value in our lives. It shows pertinent issues that may be bubbling beneath the surface that we may need to look at. Issues that need to be addressed ensuring that we don’t self sabotage our lives. And help to minimize the potential to ruin relationships and opportunities, which can be the difference between living a happy and fulfilling life and or not. In short, an excuse’s intrinsic value supports us in being nothing less than our true and authentic selves.
When you make an excuse, you need to look at the following areas in your lives, they will tell you what it is that you are really wanting for you.
1. The need for approval.
2. The desire to assuage people so you remain in good standing, just in case.
3. Where you really want to be.
4. What you want to spend your time and energy on.
5. Your level of commitment.
6. What changes need to be made?
7. Where you can take control of your life.
8. Look at living your authentic life.
9. Choosing to express your truth.
So, what does your go to excuse tell you about you what you are wanting in your life. Remember, it’s your life it’s your choice.
Listen to the archived episode of Enough! No More Excuses on My Life My Choice Radio on Blog Talk Radio. Click here
|Posted on January 25, 2014 at 11:10 PM||comments (0)|
Enough! No More Excuses. An excuse is a permit issued by self (YOU) - giving permission to self (YOU), to choose a pathway of non-accountability, non-ownership and irresponsibility. In short, an excuse is a license not to make change where changes need to be made.
Is there such a thing as an excuse? The answer to that is NO there isn’t. When you make an excuse, you have declared a choice, a conscious choice at that. As a choice expert, I feel that in order to live the best life that you can, at your very core, you must believe in your authentic self.
I can tell and so can you people who are not living from their true authenticity. People who feel that they don’t come up to par, whatever par is, but think that they should, by the excuses they make for the life and the lives that they have chosen to live.
You know what I’m speaking of. When said person opens their mouth and you internally or literally roll your eyes to look out of the back of your skull. Or you sigh and think, “oh crap here we go again. Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!” Or you mentally disappear through most of the conversation, only to be brought back with a rude jolt by something that trigger snappish behavior in you. You follow through by snapping at them, none to gently, by telling them what it is you think that they should be doing.
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! This is what happens when people make excuses, we see them for what they are. And they see themselves for who they are too. And that is simply someone who has failed to do something that they said they would do all wrap up in a tidy over-the-top bow.
An excuse is an explanation that is multilayered by design. Each element of an excuse given tries to create a sound and viable reason why you didn’t do what you said you’d do and it is steep in subterfuge. Ironically, it’s the subterfuge that makes all excuses as transparent as looking through a squeaky clean glass window. This is why people see through you and why you see through them. It is also the reason we see through ourselves.
Let me just say this for the record. Don’t try to BS yourself into believing that a reason and an excuse are the same thing. Clearly, they are no. A reason is factual. It is an action, an event or cause. Mount Fuji erupted and I was unable to fly out of Japan. No subterfuge here. An excuse is fictitious. It’s a mental/emotional creation driven by the imagination is design to absolve and free one from blame, for not doing something we said we would. Like not showing up on time for an engagement because time got away from us! Have you used that one yourself or has someone used that one on you?
Bottom line is this; an excuse is really someone looking for somebody else to validate them, let them off the hook for poor behavior for not doing whatever they said they would.
The nature of an excuse brings both extrinsic and intrinsic value to our lives. In part II of this blog we’ll explore that. However in the meantime I have another question, “what’s your go to excuse?” Come now, you know the one I mean, it’s that ace you always use to try and BS yourself and other people, for not following through on something you committed to doing.
Listen to the archived radio episode of Enough! No More Excuses click here
|Posted on January 20, 2014 at 1:35 AM||comments (0)|
I read a blog today based on a post from a science teacher called Mr. James Kennedy. He wants to dispel the myth that chemicals in food are bad for you by proving that chemicals are everywhere. He did say that we cannot recreate many things that occur in nature in a laboratory setting. I did wonder why he didn’t explain this, but, I guess his post wasn’t about that.
Well, like all things, people are within their rights to make a choice to interpret this information any which way they choose. What is life all about if not choices? Some of the comments that I read I quickly realized that many people have decided to take Mr. Kennedy’s information and use it to justify that there is no difference between the creation of processed foods and naturally occurring foods.
As I looked at the picture of the egg, banana and blueberry with the chemicals listed below, I thought ummmmm! I wonder...if they took all the chemicals listed, naturally occurring or created in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw materials, because after all everything starts out from natural raw material. I wonder if they could and would create a banana, egg or blueberry as shown in the pictures above and below? The answer to that question is a resounding NO!
So, can food scientists create something that looks like, smells and even tastes like a blueberry, egg or banana? Why of course they can. If you didn't know most blueberry muffins on sale are not made with real blueberries. The blue berries are made from chemicals that are naturally occurring to make an "artificial tasting" blueberry. To suggest that an artificial blueberry, made in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw ingredients, based upon foods scientists ability to isolate various chemical components found in a naturally grown blueberry, is the same as a blueberry picked from the shrub, is not only ridiculous, but ignorant.
When people hear the word chemicals, they automatically think toxins. Which anything taken in large quantities can and will become toxic, including water. Chemicals are a way that scientist accurately identify a substance. As a Master Aromatherapist, when I am purchasing an essential oil I don’t merely ask for lavender. I ask for Lavandula angustifolia; a.k.a English lavender. It doesn’t matter if the supplier speaks English or not, he/she will understand what I want to purchase if I use the botanical or Latin name. Anywhere in the world E306 Tocoperol would be recognized as vitamin E.
Don't confuse chemical identification of a substance and artificial construction of food as one in the same. i.e. a laboratory made blueberry vs. natures vine ripe blueberry may look somewhat, feel somewhat, smell and even taste the same, but I guarantee they are not the same. Many things that have been artificially recreated in a food laboratory have been made from chemicals that where isolated from analyzing the real McCoy.
When you read the label on processed food all it’s telling you is what has been used to make the product in a lab by food scientists. The key word here is on the words “processed food.”
So why can’t scientist make a perfect replica of any animate thing in a laboratory setting? While they have come pretty darn close, the fact remains that unlike a car, or house, chair or table all of these can be taken part and put back together and work just like new so it is with inanimate objects. However, if you take apart an inanimate object such as human, banana, egg or blueberry you will not be able to put any of the above back together and have them function just like new…or not yet at any rate. Checkout Frankenstein.
Picture printed with the permission of Mr. James Kennedy Many thanks for sharing your views!