Dr. Wendy Dearborne Choice Expert & Coach

Thank you to all my guests who attended my, wow, my very first book signing.  It still is amazing to me.  It went extremely well and as my dearest friend, Linda would have said, "who would have thunk it Wenz?" 

Fraught with all the challenges that go with the unknown factors that tend to present themselves, when creating and hosting an event, this one was no different.  Inspite of the challenges I can safely say that I did the late actress, who was and in many ways continues to be, my speech and drama teacher, Mrs. Phylis Calvert proud.

I try to learn something from everything that I do, especially events that I host or I participate in.  I don't spend time...okay...I don't spend a lot of time on if I woulda, shoulda, coulda.  What I do is reflect on is what I can do differently next time, to make both my experience and that of my guests that much better.

What I Learnt Yesterday

The one thing that I learnt from my guests yesterday, is that while people are kinda okay with a smoothie aproblem arises in getting their heads around the "green bit" of a green smoothie.  They try to accomplish this by trying to assimilate the "what it will taste like" in their minds.  And that becomes a bit of a challenge. You see it readily conjurers up sweet tasting fruit, that has been blended with with over cooked soggy veggies or  with a salad  minus dressing.  Not very appealing and therefore a little off putting.

What My Guest Learnt & Experienced

I think most of my guests yesterday were pleasantly surprised by the way in which nut milks, when blended with, frozen avocado & mango, fresh asparagus, kale celery, mint, apple, frozen organic mixed veggies, cucumber and coconut water can and will change the texture, depth, palate experience and nutritional and ultimate satiation value of a green smoothie.

They also got a glimpse into how easy it is to create your very own nut milks.  The most labor intensive being coconut milk. 

The addition of nut milks to the green smoothie or regular smoothie ups-the-ante dramatically: Fiber, taste, protein, nutritional value and the endless possibilities for creating your very own perfect smoothie(s).

But It's Not A Green Smoothie

2       cups fresh cashew nut milk sweetened with 3 - 4 Medjool Dates

1/2    carrot

1/2    parsnip

1/3    cucumber

1       apple

1/4    red bell pepper

1      banana

1-2   baby bok choy

4     asparagus spears

1/2 -3/4 cups of frozen black cherries

Blend the first 6 ingredients until slushy.  Add the remaining ingredients and blend until with a little coconut water if needed and blend until smooth can creamy.

Clarity is the key to all communication even with the Divine.  Be clear on what you are sending out inaction, word, thought and deed.  You see, ALL who are the recipients of your communiqué, will react to it.  Let me share a story to illustrate my meaning.

I decided to write a letter and send it to The Divine telling my version of my life story.  I explained what had become of me as a result of all the choices that I had made.  And also the things that had been done to me, because of my choices.  My thoughts were racing and I had a hard time pin pointing where one thought ended and another begun.  My mind and my words were all over the place.  And so I decided to write them down just as they poured out of me.  I knew without a doubt that the nature of my letter would be understood by the intended recipient.   As I didn’t want to take up too much time, I kept my letter short…and so with pride I sent out the following.

recemeerv 11th 2012

Dearest Divine,

W dk poiekc ckamo9ajkid & cokdnnabg

I am siebhang sor mi fxse mli kdk ynfkgs hadt I mnve njhdnto po398sjenmcm, diekakich thpp skje me klo zxcdef cvfrtgm I mw lkfji. 

 

I cue lkij crytaml ! liune klcseity kjh ce!im~so asd mywedrc wiodnn and I  akdjne tikel itlshend HJI maiasdsed mandojre.

K sk msje.

Lmd amid. Kdine skin . Ik ski sksk.

I sl;kci kfiandnfec.

Kdi skndegzyhloa;lfnty9ona. Kdingfd sd choice. Dkfjnjd aimadntu thcsnc tk clanloditnd it ajdht and ainmd I andut ha tjkdn clsndfljdsl andI aand thend thellilsclvckab fkduvlsnaicx , kdkjrmds akdjm,dj vkd wesj soo!

Love,

Wendy

I waited, hardly daring to breathe, and the very next day my letter arrived.  I was so excited to have received my reply.  I tore the letter open, with expectation and anticipation rising, as I began to read the breath was torn from my body.  I was stunned!  I was absolutely speechless and a lot confused and more than a little hurt by the response.  In fact it baffled me.  The Divine sent a note back with the following reply:

My Beloved Wendy,

?????????! 

Blessings,

The Divine

Every emotional button that was on standby was pushed in that moment.  “Really!?   After pouring out my heart, this is Your response!?”  Getting over my initial huff and past my hurt, I silenced the negative chatter inside my head.  An in that silence I heard, clearly, “reread the letter that you sent ME.”  As I began to read what I had written shock, surprise, horror and embarrassment, filled me as this is what the Divine had seen too.  In that moment I realized that I had communicated how unclear my thoughts had been and not what I had want to say.  And as a result I had written down virtually every word without CLARITY.  

So taking a deep cleansing breath, I asked myself “what are you wanting to say?”  I rewrote my letter with clarity.  And with the intension that all who read it could and would understand.  Maybe not relate to the content, but would understand the words and my meaning.  And my letter said this:

December 11th 2012

Dearest Divine,

My Blessed experiences have taught me that I am whole,capable and complete.  I am not broken nor am I damaged.  I neither need to be fix nor do I need to fix anyone.  For within me are all answers to all questions and all solutions for all my problems.

I want to share with you that I am grateful for my life and all the things that I have chosen to experience, because they have made me into the strong woman I am today.

I see with crystal clear clarity the vision that I am wanting for my life and I know that it is NOW made manifest.

I am happy. I am joy.  I am flow. I am life. I am forgiveness. I am peaceful.

I am honest. I am giving. I am authentic. I am forgiven.  I am Love. I am grateful.

I am blessed. I am Divine essence.

I am choice.

I am ALL things…

For I am that I AM, and all that I AM is….ME!  This is who I was created to be.  Simply ME!  I AM the Present and I AM The Gift of My life!

Never presume to assume that God, The Universe, The Grand Architect,Creator of ALL, your Deity knows that you know, what you are wanting to express.  And what you are wanting to manifest into your life.  Whether sharing or asking be clear in your communiqué.  Be clear on what it is that you want to say.

Oh and the response I received eloquently said,

Beloved, I know.
And So It Is!

Now I invite you to listen to the lyrics of this song!  Profound. Click here to listen

In choosing to create the life that we want to live we must have clear and defined goals.  What turns our goals into a reality, and not merely a dream, is to have clarity around the steps needed to attain the goals.  Knowing the destination is relatively easy, it’s the journey that can present the biggest challenge.  The dilemma I faced earlier this week was in articulating that point so it was crystal clear. 

In my weekly lecture to a group of women who are currentlyresiding in a local shelter, I was trying to get the point across that “even if you have set a goal and you can see with clarity what you are wanting, there are steps that are required to getting there.”   While in board terms they understood what I was talking about, it was seeing the importance of creating realistic and measurable action steps and the honing down and refinement of the journey that was causing miscommunication.  And based on the responses that I was receiving, I quickly realized that I was not getting my point across.

As I stood in front of a room with about 30 women, I ask for an intercession of divine providence.  I was experiencing what my listening audience didn’t understand.  I had my goal and it was clear.  What was unclear  to me were the steps I needed totake to achieve my end goal of sharing my information in the way that I wanted.   As many of you know, I love to cook and during my lectures, many of the analogies that I use to explain or hit home a point comes from “Wendy’s Kitchen.”  And providence didn’t fail me.  Instantaneously, a picture of a box of Duncan Hines Yellow Cake Mix with double chocolate fudge frosting filled my mind.  

Given that Pinnacle Foods produce 33 different cake mixes, I asked the women which was their favorite Duncan Hines Cake Mix.  Once it was established which flavor and frosting was their preference, I drew their attention to the sides of the box,which gives historical, ingredients and calorific information about the product.  And, on the back of the box it gives step by steps instructions on how to bake your cake.   I went on to explain that the analogy for baking their favorite cake is much like attaining your goals in life…there are steps involved that will take you to the desired end result.  

I could see that intellectually the women understood what I was saying, but there wasn’t a heart connection or a visceral reaction…and that’s what I aim for in my lectures.  I then held up my imaginary Duncan Hines white cake mix and stated this is my goal to bake this cake.  I listed the ingredience needed to make the cake, even down to the preference of using butter, margarine or oil.  I spoke of the need for, a bowl, mixer and spatula, pre-heating of the oven, baking tins and Baker’s Joy.  I also mentioned that I’d need a timer.  As I continue to speak, I could see that the imaginary picture I was creating was unfolding in their minds, they were going through the steps with me. 

I went on to explain that once we had everything that we needed to make the cake, it then moves to another level.  It becomes about the order, the action steps in which we used the ingredience, which is of vital importance to our desire outcome.  I asked the question “what will happen if into the cake tin, you throw in the cake mix , dump in three uncracked eggs, pour in oil and water, then spray the contents of the tin with bakers joy and then place in the oven to bake?”  Bingo!!!  The reactions that this mental imagery conjured up in their minds were both heartfelt and visceral; exactly what I wanted to achieve.  In short, they got it.  To make the cake you need a batter, to create the batter you have to have certain steps in place.

Collectively and individually, they understood that any goal that they have for their lives that they want to realize, must first have specific steps in place to achieve the desired end result. Otherwise, the chances of the outcome being favorable are limited.

We all have access to the Universal ingredience that we need to create the lives that we want to live. Sometimes the ingredience are on hand, for others it’s a quick trip to the store or an extensive search online. Once you have all that you need, it then becomes a question of the order in which we use our Universal ingredience to create the goal that we see in our minds eye.

It's You Life; It's Your Choice

Contact Dr. Wendy for more information on creating the life that you want live drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com or 702-425-8589

Your life is built upon choosing and using Universal frequencies..."Free-currency," which are energetic waves.   We all have access to the same Universal "free-currency" to create the lives that we want to live.  Just like we all have the same 24 hours in any given day, and the same chemical constituents that make up the air that we all need to breathe.  So it is that you have access or permission to make the changes in your life that you desire.

You are the dial and or the remote control that selected the frequency..."Free-currency" that your TV channel  or radio station is currently tuned into.   The TV channel and radio show are metaphors for your life.  The amazing thing is that you can choose to make change whenever you want, just flip the dial or press a number.

The TV or radio station that you choose to land upon is what will manifest in your life!   It is representative of how you are showing up in your life.  What's going on in your macro-sphere is all about you.  Each frame and each note of a song along with each syllable creates a picture of what you believe about you to be intrinsically true.  Your life is really an internal job with an excellent external observation deck.   What you see and hear on your screen of life is a production that has been written by you, starring you, edited by you, marketed by you...it's all about you.  You can flip the script...you are the script writer!

We all transmit and we all receive.  A simple analogy is I talk, you listen; you talk I listen. This is also true of talking to the Universe or God.  You talk, and that which is greater than ourselves listens.  God, The Universal Creator or your Deity talks and we don't listen...well that is true more often than not.   If your transmitter and receiver is weak, you don't know what you want or you don't believe what you are asking, then the signal you put out will be weak.  Based on the Law of Action and Reaction the signal your receive back may be sporadic with loud unintelligible unrecognizable with bursts of pure clarity that slip from your grasp like water.   

So,my question is "what are you watching or listening to?"   

Don't like what's being broadcast back to you? Then, think about what you do want to see showing up on your screen of life and look for, and then change YOUR channel!  If you can't find an existing channel...then CREATE IT!  Through your choice you have created the life that you are currently living.  Use the power of your conscious choice to create that which you say you want in your life. 

Keys To Success:

The keys to success are

• Choice
• Clarity
• Concentration
• Commitment

Use these keys to change the radio dial or TV channel of your life and start watching the show of your life that you can really enjoy.

contact Dr. Wendy Dearborne Choice Expert & Coach email: drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com

Choice is the key to everything you want.   And it is the key to everything that has happened to you and is currently happening to you...and let's not forget, choice is the building blocks for everything that will ever happen to you.

It's common to feel a myriad of "intense" emotions when things happen that we don't like.  In fact, the same is true of the things that we find pleasurable.  Because of our hard wiring we  process life emotionally.  As a result of that our bodies respond by producing physiological effects that impact the autonomic nervous system.  These responses have to potential to build us up or destroy us; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The choices that we make create that myriad of intense emotions, so much so, that if things don't turn out the way in which we want, we ask ourselves as series of rhetorical questions, "why did this happen to me?  What did I ever do the deserve this?" The answer is simple you made a choice.  And that choice isn't a judgement or a belief or even an emotional response.  It's a choice. 

Our action/choice and subsequent  reactions is a fact.  The emotional connotation attached to the fact.choice is an purely emotional perspective.  What happens is that our emotional view point, our emotional out pouring is erroneously labeled a fact.

I feel it prudent to point out that choice has nothing to do with the  condoning of bad, illegal or criminal behavior.  Choice is simply a fact whatever connotations are attached to that fact are emotional responses and points of view.


I feel it prudent to point out that choice has nothing to do with the  condoning of bad, illegal or criminal behavior.  Choice is simply a fact whatever connotations are attached to that fact are emotional responses and points of view. 


Let's look at this in a little more detail. We'll use the following scenario to provide more distinction around the difference between fact and perspective/view point.

"Someone said something inappropriate to you and you got angry and  stormed out slamming the door as you left."  

• Fact: you were spoken to. 
  
• Fact:  you slammed the door. 
• Fact:  You left
  
• Fact:  You are entitle to feel and act in any way you choose.  

Emotional perspective/ view point: 

• View point: What was said was inappropriate.
• View point:  You became angry.
• View point:  You stormed out.
  
• View point:  Slamming the door made a statement for you.
  

When you ask yourself the questions or when you are asked the questions, "how did I get here?"  Why did this happen to me?"  You can say without condoning bad, illegal or criminal or heinous behavior, without  judgement, without assigning blame, without adorning a cloak  of shame, self loathing or victimization.   You can say,  "I got here based on my choices.  And I will get away from here and get to where I want to be based on my choices!"

By embracing and understanding the empowerment to be had invoking your inherent birth right, your soul right to make authentic choices, in the best interest of self, you will be able to create the life that you have dreamed of living.
 

Dr Wendy Dearborne  Choice Expert & Holistic Life Coach can be contacted
drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com

I was asked how coaching and becoming a life coach  and life coach educator has changed my life.  Before I answer those questions, I will share this.  Throughout my own personal coaching journey, and subsequent education, there is one thing  that I do know...I was not mentored, counseled or given advise.  I was given the greatest respect any coach can give their client.  The greatest respect any person can give another; I was given a safe space, a safe place and time, all the time I needed to find my own answers from within.   I was taught that I am an expert on me.  Just as you are an expert on you.  This is the coaching model that I teach.  I have heard and read some amazing things this week in regard to what coaches believe life coaching is.  Sadly, much of it boiled down to "consulting mentoring and therapy."   However, before I get to that in this blog or the next I'll answer the questions "how coaching and becoming a life coach  and life coach educator has changed my life?"

The answer is simple, profoundly:

I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am Capable and I am Complete." 

This is what I learnt.  Everything that I need resides within ME, contrary to the socialization and the indoctrinations that have shaped my life.  I no longer have to rely on the "external false beliefs" for the answers that I need.  All I have to do is reach inside, make a choice and pull it out.  You see, I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am Capable and I am complete. Everything that I need resides within ME!" 

I have a greater understanding of  how I came to be me and who and what I am.   I know with every fiber of my being that my history does not define my destiny...MY CHOICES DO!  And in that understanding, in that moment when I came to that awareness, that "knowing" of self and being comfortable with self, it set me FREE!  In my freedom to be me, I have a new found clarity on what I want and desire in life.  That knowledge, that purpose empowers me to see the realities I have created in my life and to use those realities to get to where I want to go.  Coaching has taught me how to view my life with a lens that has the shutter speed to reframe my life in the blink of an eye.   The reframing allows me the autonomy of choice.  It allows me to create the life that I choose for me.  You see,

 "I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am capable and I am complete.

Everything that I need resides within ME! 

I  Can Choose To Reframe My Life."

I  have honed, to a razor sharp edge, my communication and listening skills...so I now value and trust implicitly  what I have to say to me.  I know the value of my worth and what my actions are communicating to me...for who knows and understands me better than ME?   My life pertains exclusively to me, just as yours pertains exclusively to you...you can't breathe for me and I can't breathe for you, yet, we breathe each others air.  This is how closely our lives are intertwined.  It is the the tapestry that depicts our lives. This is what life coaching has taught me. It has empowered me to be all that I choose to be from an internal perspective, rather than an external perspective. You see

 "I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am capable and I am complete.

Everything that I need resides within ME! 

I  Can Choose To Reframe My Life.

I know the value of my worth. 

I choose to trust in me implicitly."

I have so many letters after my name that to write them all takes a small paragraph.  Even with all this (hard earned) knowledge, text book and life skills, my expertise pales in comparison to that of my clients own expertise on self.   This is how I engage in my coaching sessions with my clients and how I teach my fellow coaches to engage with theirs.  My job as an educator is to empower you to become an effective coach.  It matters little the letters after your name or the adjective you place before the word coach, i.e. holistic, spiritual, nutrition, transformational, business, health, fitness, prosperity, law of attraction, personal and the list goes on into infinity.

As a life coach and life coach educator I teach the gift that was given to me, for I can do no less.  I teach the importance of giving a safe space, a safe place and time, all the time needed for you to find your own answers from within.  I teach that you are an expert on you and that your clients are an expert on themselves. What matters is your intent, thought process and how you interact with yourself and how you interact with your client.  How you sit down with them at their table.  When I as a coach and life coach educator, sit at your table I know that

"You are not broken.  You are not damaged!  Nor are you in need of "fixing!" 

You are whole. You are Capable and You are complete.

Everything that you need resides within YOU! 

You can choose to Reframe your life.

You know the value of your worth. 

You choose to trust in you implicitly."

The above is how I view you.  Letters before and after my name does not give me the right to view you otherwise.  To do so would mean what?  That sadly,  I see you as broken, damaged, in need of fixing, fractured, incapable and incomplete. This disempowers you and it disempowers me.  This also infers that you require a mental health professional and not a life coach. It makes for a useless education and ineffectual coaching model.  The most important questions I can ask is "what do you want out of being a life coach?  What has life coaching done for you?  And how do you view yourself?"

I am thankful for each and every one of you, my husband "Dee", my sisters, my parents, my family - both blood and extended, my friends, clients and acquaintances.

For you have given me a precious gift that is worthy of life. MY LIFE!…you have and continue to, in your unique ways, help me to become ME! And for that I am truly truly thankful!

Blessings to you and yours! Have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving...and what are you thankful for?

Do you need to change your life? Do you want to change your life?

Most of us live out our lives with fleeting moments of true and authentic thankfulness and gratitude.  You know when you have experienced this type of your own true and authentic gratitude, because it touches the core of who you really are.  You feel a sense of grace and humility…the kind of humbleness that you experience when you've been in the presence of “the majesty of life.”

It’s the same feeling you experience when you witness a majestic spectacular sunset or the awe-inspiring range of mountains or the birth of a baby or of the new day.  But instead of being in awe at the sunset or sunrise, you are in awe of you, when you experience true and authentic gratitude.  You see “self” in all your glory and acknowledge the majesty of you.  This brings about a state of peace, comfort, tranquility and "knowing" from within, that all is well, all will be well and all is as it should be.

Many of us just get caught up with the business of living and making it through the day.  Trying to execute efficiently and get all the things done, on our to do list, that we need to get done…and then some.  What happens is that as our lives ensue at this hectic pace we have established for ourselves, we disconnect from the majesty of who and what we are.  And we forget to be grateful!  Grateful for all that there is and all that we have chosen to experience in this life.

There is so much power to be found in the simple act of being grateful.  Gratitude has the ability to transform your life from one of lack to that of abundance. This doesn't apply only to wealth, but it applies to creating abundance in your relationships with self and others, your physical, emotional and mental health.  It positively impacts all things in your life. The paradigm shift in choosing to have an attitude fill with authentic gratitude may or may not garner instantaneous results; it will however, in time, definitely get you to where you want to go.

Gratitude has the ability to improve every facet of your life, and can instantly reframe any situation, taking your outlook from a negative to a positive, in a blink of the eye.  This creates a powerful dynamic that will remove “any” obstacles that is preventing you from moving forward and attaining your dreams.  Being grateful plugs you into “The Universal Source of Creation.”  This connection allows energy to flow unencumbered, so that you will receive intuits, see the synchronicity and or coincidences that give you direct messages, enabling you to make life choices in your best interest.

Gratitude is about the appreciation or the value that you place on people, places and things in your life.  What you value speaks of your prioritization and of the “worth” that you place on people, places and things as you relate to them in your life.  And your worth comes down to what you believe about “YOU” in relation to people, places and things.  Prioritization, value and worth naturally flow into how YOU have chosen to let each and everyone impact your life.   You can see a picture emerging that illustrates our intrinsic worth and our belief, in and about "self," is the root from which I have traced where our true and authentic gratitude has evolve from.  Ironically, everything has a start point…even you!  But as I always say, “do your own due diligence.”   Trace your own roots from which your true and authentic gratitude stems.

So my question today is, “how grateful are you to be alive?”  I don't mean being grateful, just because the alternative to being alive holds absolutely no appeal to you.  But grateful just because you are a breathing, living human being, who has chosen to have a human experience with a spiritual influence.

My question to you is, "How grateful are you to be alive?"

For questions and comments Contact Dr. Wendy Dearborne

Visit website itsmylifemychoice.com email drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com

Do you need to change your life? Or do you want change in your life?  Most of us live out our lives with fleeting moments of true and authentic gratitude and thankfulness.  Why?  Why do we only experience fleeting moments in our lives of true gratitude?  The answer is simple.  Many of us just get caught up with the business of day to day living and that is due to the lifestyle that we have chosen…we are caught up with “just making it through the day.”   Many people never give gratitude a second thought, until something traumatic has happen and they can relate to it in some shape or form.  This means, by default they have become unintentionally grateful.

"Did you know that looking for the good or the positive in a bad situation and finding it, isn’t being grateful?"

Over the past few years we have heard much about having anattitude of gratitude. The personal empowerment found in maintaining an intentional attitude of gratitude is nothing new; it’s more like there has been a conscious awakening, a resurgence of an old concept on a global scale. Having an attitude of gratitude has become an embraceable household concept. And within that concept there is much power to be found in the simple humble act of being grateful. 

Intentional gratitude has the ability to transform your life from one of lack to that of abundance. It has the ability to enrich every facet of your life, and can instantly reframe any situation, taking something from a negative and transforming it intosomething positive.  It has the power to remove “any” obstacle that is preventing you from moving forward and attaining your dreams. 

So, my question to you is “are you intentional or unintentionally grateful?”

Join me, Dr. Wendy Dearborne and Olivia Lashley for an episode of ‘My Life My Choice” as we explore the multifaceted concept of “intentional gratitude” and the impact it has on the power of choice…your choice! 

Wednesday @ 1.00pm PST on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mylifemychoice

email Dr. Wendy with questions or thoughts: drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com

Check out "My Life My Choice Internet Radio"
For episodes on demand go

to

www.blogtalkradio.com/mylifemychoice  

or download podcast at

www.iTunes.com 

I’m so very sadden by the violence that is sweeping across the UK.  Being born and raised in Tottenham, I can only say that I have a deep empathy for all the players concerned and all the lives that have been impacted.  There is a ray of hope in all of this.  That out of the ashes will rise up a “stronger people.”  A People who are conscious and of their individual and collective worth!  A People who don’t require the trappings of the external world to validate their sense of worth or belonging.   A people who is comfortable singing together bringing their individual style to harmonize a song of unity.

There is a complexity to this situation that goes deeper than most of our understanding; on a psychological front and most assuredly on a spiritual front.  We are in an era of tremendous conscious growth.  If you have doubts about what I’m saying or about to say, do your own due diligence.  Research the psychology and history of advertising and mass manipulation and take a look at spirituality and energy from a quantum physicist’s view.

That being said, what’s happening now in the UK has roots that go way beyond what is fast turning out to be, yet another “perceived” racial clash.  It is so much more than race and ethnicities.  The situation that sparked riots off in Tottenham that is now sweeping the UK is nothing new.  What we have here is the same problem, with the same location, with the next generation of players - October 1985 Broadwater Farm riot.  Although this was contained, there were tentacles that had a profound influence on the event that ensued.   Ironically, in 1985 some of you were not even born!

Then we have a different location, with the same problem, with the same “perceived” racial undertones only this time with another generation -1976 the Notting Hill Carnival riot. Again, some of you were not born. The generation before that was in August 1958 “The Notting Hill Riots”…I wasn’t even born for that one. The underlying problem goes far far deeper than socioeconomical issues of housing, jobs, education, equal opportunities, urban erosion, racism, immigration, etc. which, incidentally never seem to be solved.

Part of the problem is that the people “feel” disenfranchised. Working hard or having pulled oneself up by one’s boot straps doesn’t stop people from feeling this way. In fact, at the risk of not espousing any particular conspiracy theory that is currently circulating, I do know that it has been orchestrated that we ALL walk on this particular treadmill.  A treadmill that simply states, “work hard and struggle all your life never quite hitting your target!”   Why? Why do I believe this to be true?  When I look at what is going on around the world, I see divisive behaviors being put forth by the powers to be and implemented by us.  I see the struggle for people to maintain and attain the basic necessities of life.  We are always on our tiptoes struggling to reach for the money to pay_________ you fill in the blank.  That kind of daily struggle turns into a daily grind that doesn’t lend itself to conscious unification of self and let alone others.  There is no strength in division whether of an individual or a group.

When a “peoples” get together and feel that they have nothing to lose and nothing to gain, when they feel disenfranchised, you have a recipe for a natural incendiary device. Conflict, racially motivated or otherwise is the tiny spark needed to create cities that burn like powder kegs. The events of August 6th 2011 are a testament to this fact.  And to perceive, as many critics have, that what is going on is mindless and or an ethnic or racial problem is foolhardy. To imply, as numerous citizens have that "these people" who are immigrants or the sons of immigrant and are on the poverty line and recipients of social welfare programs are the scourge of the earth.  To say that they are the cause of this latest civil unrest is absolutely ridiculous and once again foolhardy.  Listen up! And listen well...IT IS A PEOPLE PROBLEM! That means it's all “our problem.”   It’s not solely a political problem, a social science problem, a judicial problem, a racial problem and an injustice problem or a parental problem.  Someone asked me the question, “just who’s problem is it?  I didn’t tell “those people” to go out and riot.  I didn’t participate in anyway.”   No you didn’t and I didn’t and all the people I personally know didn’t, but we have all been affected by this tragic event!  And will be for years to come.  And that fact alone makes it “OUR PROBLEM!”

"People have lost lives, lost loved ones, lost their homes, irreplaceable possessions; ability to earn an income, businesses that have been in families for generations have gone up in a cloud of smoke.  And for what?  Mothers are going to lose sons, wives are going to lose husbands, and children will lose fathers. And for what?"

The term “these people,” which I have read and heard banded about ad nauseum, regarding this tragic situation, creates delineation amongst people.  The term speaks of the perceived ruling classes "inalienable" rights. Because of my race and heritage I have been and no doubt will continue to be called, “these people.”   As will all the members of my family.  This includes my nieces and nephews and their children and their children's children.

Like many migrants from the Caribbean, my parents were two of the thousands who went to England after the WWII, to do the jobs that the indigenous people didn’t want to do anymore...and all to the highest good!!! “These people,” my parents and the generations that have followed were not really wanted and have never ever been accepted. This pervasive thought process and energy impacts ALL our core beliefs and DNA…So, we have what we have...a cauldron that's always on the brink of boiling over.  Now add to this the general populace, all races, all creeds and all genders…add their anger, disillusionment, bitterness and need for their voices to be heard and you have the incendiary device that has had the switch tripped.

Political and socioeconomical solutions won’t scratch the surface.  It’s been tried and it has failed...miserably.  In order for this to never happen again, the solution is simple. It has to start with the reflection that one sees in the mirror. You have to be the change that you want to see.  You have to change within self, with every fibre of your being, before there can be a permanent external change.  This is not a panacea and I would never insult you by purporting it as such.  It is however a good place to start.

What I will share with you is that I do know from both personal and professional experience that the solution to this problem is all about you and the choices that you make!  So I suggest that you start with asking yourself these basic life altering life coaching questions,

• What are you wanting?
• What do you really want for your life?
• And what does the process look like to achieve this?
• What does it look like to break this down into small achievable steps?

For more information contact  Dr. Wendy Dearborne;  drwendy@itsmylifemychoice.com 

Website: www.itsmylifemychoice.com