|Posted on February 17, 2014 at 9:45 PM||comments (0)|
You’ve heard that old adage strike while the iron is hot. Because when it cools you will be unable to form it into what you want. You will have to conform to it. The time is N.O.W! This is what life is all about, being in and realizing your N.O.W. We go through life not recognizing the power of N.O.W! The most powerful thing in your life at any given time is YOU and being in the present and acting N.O.W!
As a choice expert, I love acronyms I feel that word association can make for a powerful memory recall. N.O.W is an acronym I use to illustrate to clients that no matter what’s gone on or going on in their lives, there is always something positive to be learned from any experience. Yesterday’s adversities create today’s opportunities. In your life you will find there are people, places and things that no longer work for you, or fit into your life-concept or the relationship is simply too painful to be in and around. What you are doing is sending yourself a signal telling self that you need to do something different. That something different is about taking action.
When you cut everything away, you’ll find that the
underpinning of your life is all about the actions and reactions that you have
taken, which are really choices. Your life is a never ending series of actions
and reactions. One begets the
other. Our lives are built on cause and
effect. Both cause and effect are
actions that are polarized by each other.
I was recently asked, what matters the most the action or reaction or the
cause and effect.
That’s a little like asking “now, which came first the chicken or the egg? My answer is simple, neither matter. Cause and effect, action and reaction are polarized by each other. Actually, it’s impossible to have one without the other. Therefore, what is truly important, what matters the most is the awareness of your choices and what it represents in the N.O.W.
Every day you awaken, you start the day anew. It’s not just the day that is new, but you are NEW too. You see, it doesn’t matter what has gone before or what is yet to come. From the moment you awaken, the new you has started the new day, which aligns you with your N.O.W.
This fact has huge relevance in our lives. It places us firmly in the moment or in the N.O.W. Being in your N.O.W is choosing to see the New Opportunities Waiting for you…and acting on them.
What new opportunities are waiting for you?
|Posted on January 27, 2014 at 3:15 AM||comments (0)|
There is a bigger picture to subterfuge found in making an excuse for not following through. It’s a form of self sabotage and it will eclipse your ability to succeed in life. Excuses have ruined many an opportunity in people lives. Excuses have torn apart, relationships, health, finances and stunted personal growth and the list goes on.
As a choice expert, I know that an excuse has more than extrinsic value in our lives. It’s more than just meaningless words designed to placate a person into believing ones BS. It’s all about the ulterior motive of not being blamed for choosing not to follow through. And the ulterior motive is where the value of an excuse comes into play.
Before I touch on the priceless intrinsic value that excuses bring to our lives, I want you to understand that there is a huge difference in telling someone something factual for what has happened and making an excuse for what you’ve done. That difference boils down to ownership of your choices, taking responsibility for your being and being accountable for your actions.
Let me elaborate, there’s a difference between saying I’m running late, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bang! End of story. Verses creating an epic storyline about why you’re late and all the imaginary things that are being blamed for your state of being; which is…late. Whichever way you slice or dice it, no matter what has happened, you’re late. You’ll find life so much easier when you just own your choices.
The need for an excuse actually has precious intrinsic value in our lives. It shows pertinent issues that may be bubbling beneath the surface that we may need to look at. Issues that need to be addressed ensuring that we don’t self sabotage our lives. And help to minimize the potential to ruin relationships and opportunities, which can be the difference between living a happy and fulfilling life and or not. In short, an excuse’s intrinsic value supports us in being nothing less than our true and authentic selves.
When you make an excuse, you need to look at the following areas in your lives, they will tell you what it is that you are really wanting for you.
1. The need for approval.
2. The desire to assuage people so you remain in good standing, just in case.
3. Where you really want to be.
4. What you want to spend your time and energy on.
5. Your level of commitment.
6. What changes need to be made?
7. Where you can take control of your life.
8. Look at living your authentic life.
9. Choosing to express your truth.
So, what does your go to excuse tell you about you what you are wanting in your life. Remember, it’s your life it’s your choice.
Listen to the archived episode of Enough! No More Excuses on My Life My Choice Radio on Blog Talk Radio. Click here
|Posted on January 25, 2014 at 11:10 PM||comments (0)|
Enough! No More Excuses. An excuse is a permit issued by self (YOU) - giving permission to self (YOU), to choose a pathway of non-accountability, non-ownership and irresponsibility. In short, an excuse is a license not to make change where changes need to be made.
Is there such a thing as an excuse? The answer to that is NO there isn’t. When you make an excuse, you have declared a choice, a conscious choice at that. As a choice expert, I feel that in order to live the best life that you can, at your very core, you must believe in your authentic self.
I can tell and so can you people who are not living from their true authenticity. People who feel that they don’t come up to par, whatever par is, but think that they should, by the excuses they make for the life and the lives that they have chosen to live.
You know what I’m speaking of. When said person opens their mouth and you internally or literally roll your eyes to look out of the back of your skull. Or you sigh and think, “oh crap here we go again. Excuses! Excuses! Excuses!” Or you mentally disappear through most of the conversation, only to be brought back with a rude jolt by something that trigger snappish behavior in you. You follow through by snapping at them, none to gently, by telling them what it is you think that they should be doing.
Excuses! Excuses! Excuses! This is what happens when people make excuses, we see them for what they are. And they see themselves for who they are too. And that is simply someone who has failed to do something that they said they would do all wrap up in a tidy over-the-top bow.
An excuse is an explanation that is multilayered by design. Each element of an excuse given tries to create a sound and viable reason why you didn’t do what you said you’d do and it is steep in subterfuge. Ironically, it’s the subterfuge that makes all excuses as transparent as looking through a squeaky clean glass window. This is why people see through you and why you see through them. It is also the reason we see through ourselves.
Let me just say this for the record. Don’t try to BS yourself into believing that a reason and an excuse are the same thing. Clearly, they are no. A reason is factual. It is an action, an event or cause. Mount Fuji erupted and I was unable to fly out of Japan. No subterfuge here. An excuse is fictitious. It’s a mental/emotional creation driven by the imagination is design to absolve and free one from blame, for not doing something we said we would. Like not showing up on time for an engagement because time got away from us! Have you used that one yourself or has someone used that one on you?
Bottom line is this; an excuse is really someone looking for somebody else to validate them, let them off the hook for poor behavior for not doing whatever they said they would.
The nature of an excuse brings both extrinsic and intrinsic value to our lives. In part II of this blog we’ll explore that. However in the meantime I have another question, “what’s your go to excuse?” Come now, you know the one I mean, it’s that ace you always use to try and BS yourself and other people, for not following through on something you committed to doing.
Listen to the archived radio episode of Enough! No More Excuses click here
|Posted on January 20, 2014 at 1:35 AM||comments (0)|
I read a blog today based on a post from a science teacher called Mr. James Kennedy. He wants to dispel the myth that chemicals in food are bad for you by proving that chemicals are everywhere. He did say that we cannot recreate many things that occur in nature in a laboratory setting. I did wonder why he didn’t explain this, but, I guess his post wasn’t about that.
Well, like all things, people are within their rights to make a choice to interpret this information any which way they choose. What is life all about if not choices? Some of the comments that I read I quickly realized that many people have decided to take Mr. Kennedy’s information and use it to justify that there is no difference between the creation of processed foods and naturally occurring foods.
As I looked at the picture of the egg, banana and blueberry with the chemicals listed below, I thought ummmmm! I wonder...if they took all the chemicals listed, naturally occurring or created in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw materials, because after all everything starts out from natural raw material. I wonder if they could and would create a banana, egg or blueberry as shown in the pictures above and below? The answer to that question is a resounding NO!
So, can food scientists create something that looks like, smells and even tastes like a blueberry, egg or banana? Why of course they can. If you didn't know most blueberry muffins on sale are not made with real blueberries. The blue berries are made from chemicals that are naturally occurring to make an "artificial tasting" blueberry. To suggest that an artificial blueberry, made in a laboratory from naturally occurring raw ingredients, based upon foods scientists ability to isolate various chemical components found in a naturally grown blueberry, is the same as a blueberry picked from the shrub, is not only ridiculous, but ignorant.
When people hear the word chemicals, they automatically think toxins. Which anything taken in large quantities can and will become toxic, including water. Chemicals are a way that scientist accurately identify a substance. As a Master Aromatherapist, when I am purchasing an essential oil I don’t merely ask for lavender. I ask for Lavandula angustifolia; a.k.a English lavender. It doesn’t matter if the supplier speaks English or not, he/she will understand what I want to purchase if I use the botanical or Latin name. Anywhere in the world E306 Tocoperol would be recognized as vitamin E.
Don't confuse chemical identification of a substance and artificial construction of food as one in the same. i.e. a laboratory made blueberry vs. natures vine ripe blueberry may look somewhat, feel somewhat, smell and even taste the same, but I guarantee they are not the same. Many things that have been artificially recreated in a food laboratory have been made from chemicals that where isolated from analyzing the real McCoy.
When you read the label on processed food all it’s telling you is what has been used to make the product in a lab by food scientists. The key word here is on the words “processed food.”
So why can’t scientist make a perfect replica of any animate thing in a laboratory setting? While they have come pretty darn close, the fact remains that unlike a car, or house, chair or table all of these can be taken part and put back together and work just like new so it is with inanimate objects. However, if you take apart an inanimate object such as human, banana, egg or blueberry you will not be able to put any of the above back together and have them function just like new…or not yet at any rate. Checkout Frankenstein.
Picture printed with the permission of Mr. James Kennedy Many thanks for sharing your views!
|Posted on January 7, 2014 at 7:45 PM||comments (0)|
Where are you in relation to your existence? That’s a deep question,
which requires deep penetrative thought. So while you’re thinking
about this, I’ll ask you another question. What is the one word that
sums up what you are wanting for 2014? And if YOU haven’t given it any thought, my personal and professional opinion, as a choice expert, is that YOU
should. It’s not often that I tell people what they should do. After
all, everyone knows intrinsically what it is that they are wanting.
Yet, I stand behind my statement. If YOU haven’t given what you are wanting for 2014 any thought, my personal and professional opinion, as a choice expert, is that YOU should. Why? Simply put, your life is moving in a forward direction. This is whether you choose to actively participate with conscious awareness of your choices or not. When your life stops moving, it will mean that you cease to exist in this dimension, life or reality. So, until then know that there is always momentum and it is forward in direction.
Let’s explore this a little more. If you have ever woken up after a night of imbibing too much fermented grains or grapes and said, “OMG! I feel like crap! Or I don’t know how I got to bed and I don’t remember much of what happened last night.” Or “I ate myself into a stupor or I was working so hard I passed out...literally!” All the above statements tell me, that you have moved forward in your life in an uncontrolled unconscious way.
if you say to yourself, “I’m going to eat until I’m in a coma or drink
until I black out or work until I drop…literally” then that’s a
different ball of wax all together. I readily accept that all the
scenarios mentioned above have the same outcome. However, your clarity
of intention is different. You are choosing with conscious awareness
the end result that you want to happen. Your intentions are clear. You
are making choices that is putting you in the driver’s seat of your
My personal experience and that of my clientele has told me that life has a way of being much more satisfying when you are consciously aware of the choices that you are making and the intention you have for the outcome is all yours. What do I mean by this?
Simply put, don’t allow life to live vicariously through you. Drag you from pillar to post with unintentional intention. Live your life based upon the conscious awareness of your choices. Live your life with conscious intention. The only thing, and I do mean, the only thing, that you have control over, at any given time in this life is your ability to choose to think/choose for self.
So, back to my original questions, “what are you wanting for 2014? And where are you in relation to your existence?”
|Posted on December 26, 2013 at 4:40 PM||comments (0)|
As December 31 rolls around heralding the coming of the New Year, we
are filled with a sense of excitement, of expectancy and a feeling of
hopefulness that the coming year will be so much better than the last.
We are looking for the new and improved version of our lives. With the
fading notes of Auld Lang Syne ringing in our ears many of us wait like
"Cinderella" for the last stroke of the clock to usher in the New Year
for us to seal a deal with self, making a resolution to change things in
our lives that will make everything better. Somehow shiny and new.
It’s January 3,a mere 48 hours into the New Year and somehow, someway the wheels have fallen off of your resolution. And as a result your desire to make your all life shiny and new has been unceremoniously abandoned. It may be comforting for you to note, that you are not alone in this and that you are in good company. According to Dr. Richard Wiseman, a researcher in the Public Understanding of Psychology, 50% of all Americans set New Year’s resolutions. He also goes on to say that 139 million people, that is a whopping 88%, fail to follow through on their commitment within days of January 1.
There are a number of
documented scientific theories, that sight activity in the brains
prefrontal cortex, which explains away the human beings inability to
follow through on a New Year’s resolution. Ironically, much of the
research sounded a lot like lame excuses to me, with the exception of
the research data that suggested that humans are unable to follow
through to completion, ideas which are abstract.
As a choice
expert and life coach educator, I know that scientific documentation
isn’t necessarily needed to support the fact that people are unable to
follow through on abstract ideas. You can see this in your own life. If
you are one of the 139 million people who get to January 3, only to
find that the wheels have fallen off your resolution, you have
experienced the results of creating an abstract goal.
goals/ideas are doom for failure. Because without mentally mapping out a
plan of action, there is nothing to commit to and there is nothing to
follow through on. So nothing is going to happen, other than the
abandonment of the goal.
To achieve a successful outcome for any
goals, it’s important to ensure that they are S.M.A.R.T.J’s. The two
examples below illustrate what I mean.
Here is an example of a smart goal: I want to lose 20lbs by September of next year, by incorporating better eating habits and walking for exercise. This is a S.M.A.R.T.J because it gives you something definite to work with and build upon.
Here is an example of a not so smart goal: I want to lose 20lbs. There is nothing concrete about this goal, it’s too abstract, it’s too vague there is nothing concrete to build on.
S.M.A.R.T.J is an acronym that means
- S = Specific Concrete tangible steps.
- M= Measurable How will you know if you completed your goal.
- A = Achievable Something you are capable of doing.
- R = Realistic Something you can do given everything else in your life.
- T = Time = limited A specific time to achieve your goal.
- J = Journal Create a journal mapping your success.
asking yourself if your goal meets the 6 criteria outlined above and
ensuring that it does, you will be on the fast track to seeing your New
Year’s resolution to completion.
Happy New Year to you and yours!
|Posted on September 16, 2013 at 7:35 PM||comments (0)|
Why not use nature’s finest medicine, FOOD, in its natural state to achieve your desire goal of weight loss? Why not eradicate or find internal balance for your stresses and emotional responses to life; the emotional responses that trigger your psychological and physiological need to eat searching for solace. Instead of looking externally for yet another pill, shake, supplement, surgery, fad diet or someone’s “processed” dietary eating system to save you and do the work for you, why not do this permanently for yourself? By you getting into the driver’s seat of your life and selecting nutritious foods that give you what you want in mind and body.
Just so we are on the same page, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison.” Eat Right 4 Your Blood Type, by Dr. Peter J D’Adamo, only scratched the surface of that old adage above. His work illustrated that we are not all designed to eat one type of diet. And I concur and applaud that! As a choice expert, I am in no way touting that everyone should adhere to a vegan, plant based or raw diet. What I am suggesting as an option is for you to find out what foods make you feel healthy. What foods make you act healthy and what foods allow you to show up in mind, body and spirit as healthy.
Let me bounce this off of you. In regard to achieving and maintaining your ideal weight, it’s crucial to your success to know that by NOT understanding the current relationship that YOU have with food, is nothing more that self sabotage. It’s about as helpful as the bathroom scales or your ill fitting clothes, telling you that you are fat. Really!?
Like you need the scales or your tight fitting clothes to inform you of
that. By the time it gets to that point, it’s just a validation of
what you already knew about you and your weight.
Let’s go back to basics and do this by figuring out the relationship that you want with food? Not
the current relationship that you have, which has evolved from what you
have been taught or told you must eat and or is good for you.
If your weight has spiraled up and down or if you are simply looking for better health, I have a question that I would like you to ask yourself. “What am I wanting “within” the relationship that I have with food?” And please, don’t delude yourself into believing that it’s just you in this equation. There are two of you in your food or dietary relationship; you and food. And, work with me on this, as bizarre as this may sound, food wants something from you too. By nature of its designed it has been created to support your wanting. When you’ve answer your question with total honesty you can move forward from there by asking yourself “What does it feel like, or look like or even taste like to develop the relationship that I am wanting with food?”
Answering these questions will help give you clarity, not only around what you want to happen to you with the food that you “choose” to eat, but it will enable you to begin to create a workable road-map to achieve your desire goals. You will give yourself the all powerful “HOW” can I make this happen. And being in the know how is where it’s at.
know that I mentioned this before and I’m going to say it again. FAT
is not your enemy. And FYI, we don’t burn our body fat a.k.a adipose
tissue, we use it. We need it and use it in part as a source of
energy, protection, cushioning, storage, for warmth…and whatever else
science has yet to tell us.
|Posted on September 10, 2013 at 3:00 AM||comments (0)|
Diets don’t work. If they did, the 60 plus billion dollar industry that has sprung up in the USA would not exist and I would not be blogging about this. And everyone would be their ideal weight. Again, diets don’t work. Why? Because, much like you do with full awareness, your body cells feel and react by going into survival mode, when they are made to starve and felt to be endangered. Whether the perceived threat to the body comes from a pill, your mind, emotions, injection, gastric surgery or a restrictive diet plan doesn’t matter. It’s all about the end result. And that is the message that you encode into your body cells. That’s why for many people who have lost weight and gained it all back and then some, tend not to do so well using the same weight-loss program that helped them before. For more in depth understanding of how your body cells work, you got to checkout Dr Bruce Lipton and his books and his work starting out with, The Biology of Belief. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhTSikYNOdA
The reality is that all these dietary aids are a temporary fix, for internal, and more often than not, emotional or mental problems. Long term problems which are showing up externally as food cravings, addictions, over eating, resistant weight, overweight and health related issues, etc. Bottom line is that your clothes don’t fit. You feel like crap and you feel you look like crap too! And that’s their in.
Now, unless your weight is due to medical problems that you came here with or put in my simplistic terms, that you were born with, then you need to look at your actions of hand to mouth and fork to mouth. What food do you have in your hand and what food is on your fork? What are you putting into your mouth? What are you eating? As a choice expert, I have come to understand that knowing “why” isn’t always the key to solving the problem of overweight and related issues. Sometimes, it can be counter-intuitive. i.e.
Q: Why do you eat ice cream?
A: I eat ice cream when I’m feeling blue, because it makes me feel better.
The question why, in this instance will always provide you with the reason. It will never give you the real answer on how to make transformational change in your life. If chowing down on B & J helps you get through the day, perhaps the ice cream is the last thing you should look at. You may want to look at some of the choice that you are making in your life that are making you feel “BLUE.”
A recent video (that inspired this blog) with Dr Oz and an internal medicine specialist, touting the slam dunk in your face all but guaranteed weight loss from a tamarind based pill, they speak about medical research that has been done. Doctor Oz endorses validity of this new pill by saying that the tamarind has been around for thousands of years and that makes it an okay thing to use. The good doctors go on to give us a rousing, logical illustration and demonstration of you being able to eat carbs and sugar, at will, and then burn fat. Amazingly, this little pill made from the skin of the tamarind pod causes your body not to store fat and as an added bonus burn all the fat you don’t need. It will do something funky with your liver to stop the storage of fat. But, Woo Hoo! Who cares about that? I’ll be a size 0. That’s their in! Tapping into your emotional vulnerability.
And, I care! I have a question for you. In reality I always have a question…lots of them. So my question is this, “The long term health effects and advantages of messing with YOUR liver in this way, is what!? This is an important question to ask not only yourself, people like Dr Oz, the medical internal specialist and the manufactures of this new product. In my next blog I’ll address your relationship with self and food. And we'll explore how to start a meaningful dialog with self about your dietary wants.
|Posted on September 8, 2013 at 9:00 PM||comments (0)|
Finding balance in your life isn’t only attributed to what
you think and do. It is also about what you eat, the foods that you are
choosing to consume. For those of you who know me, you know how I feel
about what I’m about to “rant on” and that I don't really encourage
posts for supplements or dietary supplements/aids that make claims for
weight-loss or health benefits on our group page Green Is 4 Life:
However, as I trawled through my Facebook home page, a video segment featuring none other than Dr. Oz and Garcinia Cambogia caught my attention. This was because I know that "Garcinia Cambogia" is the botanical name for tamarind. Having grown up with tamarind, I know that it has multiple medicinal and culinary usages. I was curious to see what he was speaking about in regard to weight-loss.
Anyway, when I saw this “town crier’s” video segment with a new supplement featuring an extract from the tamarind skin, my thought was, “oh my giddy aunt! Here we go again.” This is the next greatest thing in weight-loss, since, whatever was touted to be the last Holy Grail of weight-loss, two weeks ago. And, I can say after, watching the video segment, "Wenz, you were so, so-spot-on!" At that point, I was tempted to re-post it on our group page, but, with herculean effort I managed to restrain myself.
Research has shown this fact to be true. But, beyond scientific research, and more importantly, most have proven it to themselves. “The proof of the pudding is in the eating,” or so the old adage says. Fact: Anyone who has lost weight through diet and then painfully gained all the weight back and then some, have already done their own due diligence in proving this fact. Diet's, surgeries, and dietary supplements that aid in weight-loss are a temporary fix. I'm speaking about the vast majority here. Not the very, very small minority, who in my professional opinion, have chosen to make changes in all areas of their lives. Particularly, the emotional aspects of their lives, and how they choose to respond to events, situations people, places and things.
A temporary weight-loss FIX. Now, if that's what you want, a temporary fix, that’s great. Vundabar!!! However, it's incumbent upon you to understand what you are really getting and getting into and what can happen to your body in the long term. And just as an FYI, what happens to your body in the long run, tends to be more of a permanent thing.
Understand that temporary fixes, including restrictive surgeries and diets can interrupt homeostasis and create a natural resistance in the body to naturally utilize our body fat. Oh and FYI, we don’t burn our body fat, a.k.a adipose tissue. We use it in part, as a source of energy, protection, cushioning, storage, for warmth…and whatever else science has yet to tell us it does.
In my next blog I’ll share my view on why diets don’t work. And I’ll look at the internal dialog we need to be having with ourselves regarding food, diet and nutrition
|Posted on August 28, 2013 at 9:00 PM||comments (0)|
If your life has spun out of control or you are currently spiraling out of control and or your life is filled with an over abundance of drama or you are just plain and simply out of whack, you may want to consider adjusting the dial on your "self talk."
Now, Self Talk is that "seemingly" inane endless chatter that goes on and on inside our heads, 24/7…even when we are asleep. It’s the way in which we communicate with ourselves about what’s going on in our internal and external worlds. It’s the conversations and visualizations that we all have with our permanent residence “me, myself & I”.
You see, yourself talk creates the balance in your life. You cannot change people places and things, but you do have control over how you choose to think, visualize and respond. It’s fair to say that while the scales of your life may fluctuate, situations in your life shouldn’t have you majorly spiraling in any one direction. And, if they do, and you are spiraling, for goodness sakes, please, let it be upward and joyous!
So how do you use SELF TALK to establish balance in your life? That begins with you consciously choosing to want something different in your NOW. If you have said, “I don’t know why this is happening to me? I hate my life? Stop the world I want to get off! I need another pair of hands or 26 hours in a day,” then you have stated eloquently, to “The Powers To Be,” at any rate, that you want something different. Now all you have to do is go get it!
You may well be asking how you do that, but before I answer, I just want to throw this into the pot and give it a good stir. The closest person to you is you. You may think based on how your life is or has turned out that you don’t trust you. But you do. And you trust you implicitly. Because your life, the one you are currently living is a result of that trust, advice, mentoring, coaching, consulting and therapy that you have given to yourself and acted on. And you know the conversations and visualizations that we do internally 24/7? Well, just as an FYI they manifest into your reality! Change the internal conversation and visualization and you will change your reality.
Simple, yet complex. Isn’t that the true nature the life we are living? Here’s your starting point, get clarity around what you are wanting for your life, in this moment. Not later, not tomorrow, not next week, next month or next year, but in this moment. NOW!
You accomplish this by asking yourself this simple question: Fill your first name in the blank, then ask one of the most self empowering questions in the world, “____________what am I wanting for my life in this moment?” Don’t judge yourself, stress, force or strain. Be honest. Be authentic. Have no expectations; just allow the answer to come through you. The answer may be accompanied with a rush of emotions and or feelings, but whatever you experience it will be enlightening. Once you have the answer to that, you can begin creating the balance you want for you by asking yourself the next question.