Dr. Wendy Dearborne Choice Expert & Coach

I was asked how coaching and becoming a life coach  and life coach educator has changed my life.  Before I answer those questions, I will share this.  Throughout my own personal coaching journey, and subsequent education, there is one thing  that I do know...I was not mentored, counseled or given advise.  I was given the greatest respect any coach can give their client.  The greatest respect any person can give another; I was given a safe space, a safe place and time, all the time I needed to find my own answers from within.   I was taught that I am an expert on me.  Just as you are an expert on you.  This is the coaching model that I teach.  I have heard and read some amazing things this week in regard to what coaches believe life coaching is.  Sadly, much of it boiled down to "consulting mentoring and therapy."   However, before I get to that in this blog or the next I'll answer the questions "how coaching and becoming a life coach  and life coach educator has changed my life?"

The answer is simple, profoundly:

I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am Capable and I am Complete." 

This is what I learnt.  Everything that I need resides within ME, contrary to the socialization and the indoctrinations that have shaped my life.  I no longer have to rely on the "external false beliefs" for the answers that I need.  All I have to do is reach inside, make a choice and pull it out.  You see, I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am Capable and I am complete. Everything that I need resides within ME!" 

I have a greater understanding of  how I came to be me and who and what I am.   I know with every fiber of my being that my history does not define my destiny...MY CHOICES DO!  And in that understanding, in that moment when I came to that awareness, that "knowing" of self and being comfortable with self, it set me FREE!  In my freedom to be me, I have a new found clarity on what I want and desire in life.  That knowledge, that purpose empowers me to see the realities I have created in my life and to use those realities to get to where I want to go.  Coaching has taught me how to view my life with a lens that has the shutter speed to reframe my life in the blink of an eye.   The reframing allows me the autonomy of choice.  It allows me to create the life that I choose for me.  You see,

 "I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am capable and I am complete.

Everything that I need resides within ME! 

I  Can Choose To Reframe My Life."

I  have honed, to a razor sharp edge, my communication and listening skills...so I now value and trust implicitly  what I have to say to me.  I know the value of my worth and what my actions are communicating to me...for who knows and understands me better than ME?   My life pertains exclusively to me, just as yours pertains exclusively to you...you can't breathe for me and I can't breathe for you, yet, we breathe each others air.  This is how closely our lives are intertwined.  It is the the tapestry that depicts our lives. This is what life coaching has taught me. It has empowered me to be all that I choose to be from an internal perspective, rather than an external perspective. You see

 "I'm not broken.  I'm not damaged!  Nor am I in need of "fixing!" 

"I am whole.  I am capable and I am complete.

Everything that I need resides within ME! 

I  Can Choose To Reframe My Life.

I know the value of my worth. 

I choose to trust in me implicitly."

I have so many letters after my name that to write them all takes a small paragraph.  Even with all this (hard earned) knowledge, text book and life skills, my expertise pales in comparison to that of my clients own expertise on self.   This is how I engage in my coaching sessions with my clients and how I teach my fellow coaches to engage with theirs.  My job as an educator is to empower you to become an effective coach.  It matters little the letters after your name or the adjective you place before the word coach, i.e. holistic, spiritual, nutrition, transformational, business, health, fitness, prosperity, law of attraction, personal and the list goes on into infinity.

As a life coach and life coach educator I teach the gift that was given to me, for I can do no less.  I teach the importance of giving a safe space, a safe place and time, all the time needed for you to find your own answers from within.  I teach that you are an expert on you and that your clients are an expert on themselves. What matters is your intent, thought process and how you interact with yourself and how you interact with your client.  How you sit down with them at their table.  When I as a coach and life coach educator, sit at your table I know that

"You are not broken.  You are not damaged!  Nor are you in need of "fixing!" 

You are whole. You are Capable and You are complete.

Everything that you need resides within YOU! 

You can choose to Reframe your life.

You know the value of your worth. 

You choose to trust in you implicitly."

The above is how I view you.  Letters before and after my name does not give me the right to view you otherwise.  To do so would mean what?  That sadly,  I see you as broken, damaged, in need of fixing, fractured, incapable and incomplete. This disempowers you and it disempowers me.  This also infers that you require a mental health professional and not a life coach. It makes for a useless education and ineffectual coaching model.  The most important questions I can ask is "what do you want out of being a life coach?  What has life coaching done for you?  And how do you view yourself?"